- Sam McCloud: Joe, I tell ya, I think that the machine will actually take the place of man some day.
- Sgt. Joe Broadhurst: Yeah, probably, but I hope not women.
- Chief Peter Clifford: What are you doing here?
- Wilhelmina Kirk: I'm doing a story on the park at night.
- Chief Peter Clifford: How many nights have you been here?
- Wilhelmina Kirk: This is my first.
- Chief Peter Clifford: You're lucky it wasn't your last. Don't you know that place is a jungle?
- Chief Peter Clifford: [on phone] Have you any idea where McCloud went?
- Wilhelmina Kirk: [on other line] Last I saw him, he was on his way to a bordello.
- Chief Peter Clifford: Bordello? McCloud? Ah, he doesn't even smoke!
- Wilhelmina Kirk: I guess he liked the pickings, broke up the joint when they tried to stop him from taking off with one of the girls.
- Sam McCloud: You got about as much chance telling that story in America as you got of selling sand around here.
- Wilhelmina Kirk: You're like a cactus, McCloud, too many thorns or stickness.
- Sam McCloud: Cactus can save a man's life if he knows how to use it.
- Sheik Ramal: Well, I'll be seeing you all later. Unfortunately, none of you will be in any shape to see me.
- Donald Yates: You're really good at your job. The transaction is top secret. How did you crack it?
- Wilhelmina Kirk: S&D. That's Snoop and Deduct.
- Wilhelmina Kirk: I learned a long time ago that getting a story from a man as busy as you are is like getting pregnant: there's just never an ideal time. So you just have to make up your mind to do it and then do it. So lets do it, Mrs. Yates. Eh, the, the story, that is.
- Chief Peter Clifford: [the entire squad is watching a beauty contest on TV] All right, everybody back to work! Just as soon as we find out who wins.
- Chief Peter Clifford: [to McCloud and Houstachek] What are you two trying to become, the Weird Couple?
- Sam McCloud: You're right Chief, he needs my help.
- [referring to Houstachek]
- Chief Peter Clifford: You said that, I didn't. Now you get back to Missing Persons, that's an order.
- Sheik Ramal: [after McCloud has enquired about three American women] I am not a missing persons buro.
- Sam McCloud: I never said they were missing.
- Sheik Ramal: Mr. McCloud, you are becoming a nuisance.
- Sam McCloud: Mr. Ramal, a nuisance is gonna be a welcome relief before I finish. Because I'm gonna get to the bottom of Nancy's disappearance if I have to take Aramy apart straw by straw.
- Wilhelmina Kirk: I guess we're in trouble, huh?
- Sheik Ramal: Fortunately, you won't have long to live with it.
- Wilhelmina Kirk: Terrific...
- Donald Yates: [on telephone] You know what they say about rumors, sir, Ramal has as much as promised me the order.
- Caine: [on other line] From the promise to the signature can be a long trip, Donald.