- Larry Harris: Now, I had a situation exactly like this on one of my shows, it was called 'The Case of the... the Purloined Parrot' Eh, the police were stumped on that one, too, so I had the dead man's apartment dusted for prints and I was able to prove that the, eh, the janitor did it.
- Sam McCloud: Well, this is not a TV show, Larry.
- Peter B. Clifford: Because the horses around here are smart. They hear a gun go off, and they know it's time to get out. That's what made this city great, McCloud, because the people and the horses think!
- Muriel Clifford: Would you like sleeping pill, darling?
- Peter B. Clifford: You better bring the whole bottle. The one marked 'McCloud'!
- Sam McCloud: What happened, Larry?
- Larry Harris: I got beat up!
- Sam McCloud: Well, I can see that.
- Larry Harris: [groans] You know what this means? It means I'm on to something. They're scared of me, they're afraid, that's what it means.
- Sam McCloud: Yeah, well, with you, you can't be too sure. I wanted to hit you once or twice there myself.
- Sam McCloud: Did you get it?
- Sgt. Joe Broadhurst: Yeah, it came in this morning. I swiped it from Grover's desk. Now remember, if anybody asks, you took it.
- Sam McCloud: Right.
- Peter B. Clifford: From now on, the two of you can consider yourselves the official lepers of this department. If any dirty, rotten job comes up, you two get it. If they need school crossing guards, you two get it. If the commissionor's dog needs walking, you two get it. If the men's room needs cleaning, you get it. Now get out of here before I think of some real beauties.
- Peter B. Clifford: [to McCloud] You are in charge of crowd control. And Broadhurst, tell O'Hara he's in charge of McCloud control.
- Peter B. Clifford: So, the old man was interested in movies. So what? And he collected travel brochures. So did I at one time, but I never went any place.