- DCI Tom Barnaby: Birkett... I know that name!
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: Oh, he'd a been around in your time.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: It is still my time, Troy!
- Daniel Webster: Well, how's it going?
- Cully Barnaby: I think your father just fired me from a job I volunteered for.
- Daniel Webster: Aw, he's pretty fed up. It's like someone's taken away his train set.
- Cully Barnaby: Except it isn't even his.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Find out who made the anonymous phone calls?
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: Some of the kids think it's a man called Birkett. Ex-copper, retired. I've spoken to him. He denies it, but you could be right. Busybody. Doesn't like the way the village has gone. Too many newcomers.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Birkett . I know that name.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: Oh, he'd have been around in your time.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Still is my time, Troy.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: I didn't mean...
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Came across his name today or yesterday in the land of the living, not in the land that time forgot.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: PC Burkett, he was the village constable who reported Eric Edwards was missing in 1965.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: CID didn't do much of a job.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Well, I suppose if you set out not looking for a body, you're not very likely to find one, are you?
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: Do you think you ought to take over?
- DCI Tom Barnaby: You have still got to ask Tom a lot of questions. And if I were you I'd get about it quick before his lawyer arrives.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: Lord Fitzgibbon?
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Hmm. He is very sure that Tom didn't do it. Came to see me last night at home.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: That's a bit rich.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: It is. So I did assure him that you would treat Tom with sensitivity. I could have said with your usual sensitivity, but he doesn't know you as well as I do.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Troy, do you want me to open that for you?
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: [opens the envelope and breaks into a broad smile] I've got it. Inspector Troy!
- [spills his coffee]
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: Oh. What does, uh, Mr. Hopkins want?
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Superintendent Hopkins .. well, I imagine he wants you to talk about, well, considering taking that job in Newcastle.
- [pause]
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Find out.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: You knew.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Well, there was circumstantial evidence and I thought, well, with you going, Troy, I'd better start, uh, rehoning my detective skills.
- Sergeant Gill: An odd one. Anonymous phone call.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: And you thought anything weird, take it along to CID.
- Sergeant Gill: Well, while we've still got you. Midsomer Worthy. Attack on an old man. Tom, they call him. Sort of a tramp. Harmless enough. We've had trouble with yobs in the village before. Usually nothing more than loud music and fast cars. Only it's getting more serious. The caller said Tom's been beaten up.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: Who phoned?
- Sergeant Gill: Concerned villager. He's given us a description.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: It could be you. You got anything vaguer?
- Sergeant Gill: Well, that's why I brought it to you. A detective of your seniority.
- [last lines]
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: Thank you, sir. I mean, thank you for everything, over the years. I don't think I'd be where I am if... Well, you know what I mean.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Ah, rubbish. Admittedly it took me a long time to get you trained, but when I'd finally done it... Now I know how much I've, uh, I've relied on you, Troy.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Midsomer will miss you.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: And I'll miss Midsomer.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Good luck.
- Boy #1: What are we going to shoot?
- Boy #2: Bunnies!
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: Half a lager, please.
- Charlie Birkett: How's the job?
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: The job?
- Charlie Birkett: It takes one to know one. Charlie Birkett. I'm an ex-copper myself. Retired now.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: Ah.
- Helen Cartwright: Now he hasn't got an official reason to spy on us, so we just put it down to nosiness. Right, Charlie?
- Charlie Birkett: You can call it what you like, Helen. A little bit more of it would mean a lot less crime.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: So. Far spotted.
- Charlie Birkett: Well, well observed, anyway.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: [discussing the murdered Simon Mayfield] His ex-girlfriend was on to something. They split up about two months ago.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Because he was...
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: At it with some slapper.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Oh, that's very elegantly put, Troy.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: Her words. But she didn't know who it was.