- [in Mister Ed's dream, he is dressed as a mad doctor and Wilbur, dressed in scrubs, is his assistant as they look over an x-ray]
- Wilbur Post: What do you think of Mr. Addison's condition, doctor?
- Mister Ed: It looks like an acute hematosis of the left phibosis.
- Wilbur Post: What do you think caused it?
- Mister Ed: His condenser blew out.
- Wilbur Post: What time should we operate? Would eight o'clock tonight be all right, doctor?
- Mister Ed: No, I don't want to compete against my favorite show, Perry Mason.
- Wilbur Post: How about tomorrow morning at 7:30?
- Mister Ed: No, impossible. My makeup man doesn't get here until 8:00.
- Wilbur Post: When do you want to operate?
- Mister Ed: Never.
- Wilbur Post: But Doctor Ed, you are the finest brain surgeon in the whole world.
- Mister Ed: But to him, I'm just a fat old clown.
- [in Mister Ed's dream, he and Wilbur are in a hospital recovery room]
- Mister Ed: I don't remember operating on this patient.
- Wilbur Post: You didn't, doctor. I did.
- Mister Ed: You?
- Wilbur Post: I couldn't sleep last night, so I got up and took out Mr. Hogskins frontal aboda.
- Mister Ed: Wait, the chart says that this patient is Mr. Femwick. He came here to have his tonciles removed.
- Wilbur Post: So, THAT'S what he was trying to tell me!
- Mister Ed: Why didn't you listen to him?
- Wilbur Post: He couldn't talk and... well... I though he was just being chicken.
- [in Mister Ed's dream, Wilbur and Carol are doctors in an O.R. who make romantic eye contact with each other and they prepare to operate on Addison]
- Wilbur Post: I love you, Carol. Tell me you'll marry me. Marry me now! Say you want to be my wife. I want to be with you right here and now!
- Carol Post: What about the patient?
- Wilbur Post: He already has a wife.
- Kay Addison: What do you say, doll? Shall I beg Doctor Ed to operate on you?
- Roger Addison: Never!
- Kay Addison: But you can't go through life without a condenser.
- Roger Addison: Does it make any difference to you?
- Kay Addison: Oh come on, you just got to get Doctor Ed save you. You know how awful I look in black.
- Roger Addison: No! I don't want that quack of a horse to operate on my brain. Besides, his fee for the operation is ridiculous. $10,000 for a simple brain operation.
- Kay Addison: But it's only money. You can't take it with you if you die.
- Roger Addison: Yes, I can. I'll eat it before I go.