Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk and the Big Reward (2006)
Tony Shalhoub: Adrian Monk
Photos
Quotes
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Jenny Manderville : [to Randy] So am I in trouble?
Lt. Randall Disher : No, not this time, miss. But listen, if you feeling like finding someone to confess to, you should call a priest.
[to an officer]
Lt. Randall Disher : Would you escort Miss Mandeville out?
[Monk, Natalie and Stottlemeyer come out of the Captain's office. Disher turns to them and whistles a cuckoo whistle]
Adrian Monk : Who is she?
Lt. Randall Disher : Looney Tune of the Month. Her name's uh, Jennie Mandeville. She keeps on coming in here and confessing to stuff.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : What was it this time?
[since yesterday, Jennie came in and confessed to stealing a pen from a bank]
Lt. Randall Disher : Well, she comes in, same as yesterday, and says she accidentally killed her roommate. So I take her into the back room and I turn on the tape recorder. Turns out her roommate was a hamster.
Adrian Monk : [chuckles] She didn't look unstable.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : They never do.
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Dr. Charles Kroger : What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Adrian Monk : Well, I guess I'd hire you full time, and keep you on retainer 24/7. Maybe I'd buy you a house right next to mine so that I could just drop in, anytime.
[Chuckles]
Adrian Monk : This is fun. What would you do with a million dollars?
Dr. Charles Kroger : [Cautiously] Buy an island... a desert island... in the middle of nowhere.
Adrian Monk : So we would do our sessions over the phone?
Dr. Charles Kroger : Heh, you see this island, in my mind... no phone service.
Adrian Monk : I guess I'd have to buy a boat.
Dr. Charles Kroger : You see, that's funny because you see this island, in my fantasy... no dock.
Adrian Monk : Well, may the best man win.
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[Gladys, while cleaning, finds a note saying "Gladys, don't forget to clean *under* the table. "Under" in the Post-It note is underlined, emphasizing its importance. In Stottlemeyer's office, meanwhile...]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Here's the coroner's report. Victim's name: Danny Chasen, it's probably an alias. The victim was poisoned. Somebody spiked his all-natural barley tea with ammonia.
Adrian Monk : Was he part of the heist?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Looks like it. They found some hair samples in that rolltop desk at the museum that matched the body.
Natalie Teeger : Where's the diamond?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Still missing in action. Wasn't on him or in the cabin.
Adrian Monk : We know he had a partner, somebody who works at the museum. It's probably still with him.
Natalie Teeger : So the reward is still good? I mean, nobody's claimed it?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yeah, as far as I know. The reward is still good.
Natalie Teeger : [holds up file] Ka-ching!
Adrian Monk : [to Stottlemeyer] Could you make her stop saying that?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : This is no longer a parlor game. A man is dead. This is a homicide investigation, which means *nobody* is to withold *any* information from *anybody*.
Natalie Teeger : [noticing that Monk and Stottlemeyer are looking at her with accusing looks] What? Are you looking at me?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yes I am, Ms. Teeger.
Gladys Menchen : [walks into the room to confront Monk about his Post-It notes] Did you write these? Don't deny it, I know it was you!
[reads the notes]
Gladys Menchen : "How are things down under?" Hint! Hint! "Monk was right. You should clean under the tables." You don't fool me for a second. It goes without saying, "Don't forget to throw away these little Post-Its, too."
Adrian Monk : [to Stottlemeyer] Captain, she doesn't clean under the tables.
Gladys Menchen : You are not the boss of me!
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Landis : [while being questioned about the robbery] I want to help you guys. I really do, but they've questioned me three times.
Lt. Randall Disher : It's not just you, Mr. Landis. We're talking to all the guards, cleaning staff, curators, and anybody who was at the museum.
Landis : Yeah, but I haven't been home yet!
Lt. Randall Disher : And I appreciate that. We just need your official statement, and you're free to go. So for the record, where were you during the robbery?
Landis : OK, for the tenth time, I was at my station on the main floor. I *never* left.
Lt. Randall Disher : And you didn't hear anything unusual?
Landis : No, sir. I was three floors away.
Lt. Randall Disher : Okay.
[noticing Monk and Natalie]
Lt. Randall Disher : Excuse me for a second. Can I get you something to drink?
[Randy walks over to the cooler where Monk and Natalie are standing]
Lt. Randall Disher : Monk, Nat.
Adrian Monk : What's going on?
Lt. Randall Disher : What? You haven't heard? Robbery at the MacMillan Museum. It was big, big! The Alexander Diamond.
Natalie Teeger : Whoa!
Lt. Randall Disher : I know whoa! Robbery division asked us to help out, so we're taking statements from everybody on sight.
Adrian Monk : So you're not arresting him about the drugs?
Lt. Randall Disher : Uh, no, what drugs?
Adrian Monk : His fingertips are stained. It looks like red phosphorus. You get that from making crystal meth. He's got to have a lab somewhere.
Lt. Randall Disher : Okay, I'll look into it.
[to Landis]
Lt. Randall Disher : Excuse me, Mr. Landis.
[to Monk and Natalie]
Lt. Randall Disher : If the Captain needs me, I'll be in Interrogation Room B.
[Landis departs with Randy to be interrogated. Monk turns to Natalie, who is dismayed to find that Monk didn't ask for money]
Adrian Monk : What?
Natalie Teeger : You know what? You just solved that case for *free*!
Lt. Randall Disher : What was I supposed to do? Say, "Lieutenant, there's a drug dealer in the room. I'll tell you who it is for $20."
Natalie Teeger : At least we'd have $20!
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Adrian Monk : Jewel thieves are like children. They hate to share.
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Adrian Monk : [9:24] I think you should talk to her.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I will. About her aim.