- [Monk is asking Monica out]
- Adrian Monk: We could have coffee. Or ... or ... do you eat dinner?
- Monica: Yes, I've been known to eat dinner.
- [pause]
- Adrian Monk: [to Sharona] Do I eat dinner?
- Monica Waters: You don't like change, do you?
- Adrian Monk: I have no problem with change. I just don't like to be there when it happens.
- Adrian Monk: [hanging up his cell phone after talking to Stottlemeyer] That was Sharona. Her son got the lead in the school play.
- Monica: Oh, really? What play?
- Adrian Monk: Ghandi.
- Monica: Ghandi? Is - is that a play?
- Adrian Monk: I think they added a few songs. You want to come?
- Monica: Oh, I think I'll be having a headache that night.
- Sharona Fleming: Oh, you have to be joking.
- Adrian Monk: If I was joking, it would certainly be a lot funnier than this.
- Adrian Monk: I promise I won't be upset. Just tell the truth. Are you trying to kill me?
- Monica: What?
- Adrian Monk: It's OK if you are. I just need to know. Is this poisoned?
- Monica: Do you think I could hurt you?
- Adrian Monk: He's under the garage, isn't he?
- Monica: Who is?
- Adrian Monk: Your ex-husband. You buried him under the garage.
- Monica: How could you say that?
- Adrian Monk: Everybody is saying it.
- Adrian Monk: My husband Derrick is a schizophrenic. He had a complete breakdown two years ago. He's in a private institution. We've been trying to keep it a secret. We didn't want his family to know.
- Adrian Monk: Oh, my God, he's in Zurich, isn't he? At the Breinnhoff clinic?
- Monica: How did you know that?
- Adrian Monk: It's the best hospital in the world for psychiatric disorders. I'd be there myself but I don't fly. And you have soap from different hotels in Zurich. I assumed you liked to take ski vacations.