My Family (TV Series)

Blind Justice (2003)

Kris Marshall: Nick Harper

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Nick Harper : [positions package on table]  OK. All right, Dad. Look.

  Ben : Well, Nick, that's, that's so... um, uh, aw! You shouldn't have. That's, that's really...

  Nick Harper : It's well wrapped, isn't it?

  Ben : Yes. Yes, it's well wrapped. Yes. You didn't have to buy me a good luck present.

  Nick Harper : I didn't.

  Ben : It's the salt, Nick, it's the salt.

  Susan : What's this? English for 'the stupid'?

  Ben : Nick's wrapped the salt-celler.

  Nick Harper : Trying to be a wrapping artist. Like the great Christo. Y'know, he wraps up huge monuments for art to elicit emotional response.

  Ben : Like irritation?

• Susan : For God's sakes, Nick, stop moving the furniture!

  Nick Harper : It's not furniture! It's art!

  Susan : It's cack!

  Nick Harper : The problem with you, mum, is you've got no vision.

  [laughs after realising she is blind] 

  Nick Harper : Sorry!

• Abi Harper : Your mother's gone blind because she's seen the unseeable: your messy room! She didn't see the girl you had up there, though!

  Susan : Yes, I did. But you know, I'm cool with that.

  Michael : Oh, right! So, cool, you've gone blind? You're so selfish!

  Nick Harper : Hey, mate! Do you not feel bad that you've made mum go blind, alright? Yeah? Because the important thing is... YOU SCORED! GET IN! YEAH!

• Abi Harper : [With Nick, staring at a paper bag with food in it]  It brings to mind the nullity of human existence. It moves me. I think it's your best work yet.

  Michael : Actually, it's my lunch.

  Nick Harper : Plagiarist!

• Susan : The tour was a disaster! We were supposed to go to the British Museum!

  Nick Harper : Marks & Spencer's very similar.

  Susan : Even Canadians know the difference between the Rosetta Stone and a three-pack of knickers! Then instead of the Tower of London, we went to Tower Records!

  Nick Harper : Tower, Tower!

  Abi Harper : It's an easy mistake to make!

  Nick Harper : Exactly! Any golden labrador would have done the same!

  Susan : If that weren't enough, when we picnicked in Hyde Park, he chased a squirrel up a tree!

  Nick Harper : That squirrel had it coming!