- Maxwell Sheffield: Oh, there you are, Niles. Do you think C.C.'s upset that I'm taking Fran to the premiere instead of her?
- Niles: No. Why would she be upset?
- Maxwell Sheffield: I'd hate for her to think I didn't like her.
- Niles: Now where would she ever get that idea?
- Maxwell Sheffield: Oh, I don't know. Maybe from some BIG, FAT BUTLER SCREAMING IT INTO HER FACE!
- Maxwell Sheffield: [Niles clutches his chest and pops a tablet] Oh, stop it. I know those are bloody tic tacs!
- Fran Fine: [in the ladies room] I need a disguise!
- Fran Fine: [sudden inspiration] Yetta!
- Yetta Rosenberg: [from inside a toilet stall] What?
- Fran Fine: When are you coming out of there?
- Yetta Rosenberg: I can't decide whether to vote for Nixon or Kennedy.
- Fran Fine: [barging into the stall] Gimme that wig, old woman!
- Yetta Rosenberg: [pokes her head out after a brief struggle] Oh my god! It's just like Patty Duke and Susan Hayward in the Valley of the Dolls!
- C.C. Babcock: I just don't understand why Maxwell would ask Nanny Fine on a date! I should be going to Elton John's dinner, not her. I am the one with sophistication! I am the one with savvy! Why would he pick her over me?
- Niles: HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU!
- C.C. Babcock: WHY? What am I doing wrong?
- Niles: Well, for one thing, you've known him for 25 years or half your life and you don't even know the names of his children!