- Margaret 'Maggie' Sheffield: Brighton, you are so pathetic.
- Margaret 'Maggie' Sheffield: [to Fran] I mean, he walks around the house all day with his guitar and he doesn't even know how to play.
- Brighton Sheffield: [to Maggie, in rebuttal] Hey, you wear a bra!
- Margaret 'Maggie' Sheffield: [to Brighton, beat] Hey, at least I've seen one.
- [C.C. and Fran are talking about Maxwell's attraction to Bobbi Flekman, who bears a strong physical resemblance to Fran]
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: Don't you see, Bobbi Flekman is an amalgamation of the two of us. She is everything he is searching for in a woman.
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: [pointing at herself] Beauty, brains, and...
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: [pointing to Fran] ... a slut.
- Fran Fine: [in an offended tone] Hey!
- Fran Fine: [after thinking about it] You know, you may be onto something.
- Sylvia Fine: [hypothetically] Say you're in a buffet.
- Fran Fine: Yeah.
- Sylvia Fine: And there's one piece of cheesecake left, and some obnoxious woman tries to grab it. What do you do?
- Fran Fine: Cut in front of you, Ma.
- Brighton Sheffield: [about a favor Fran helped him with] Oh, by the way, how can I thank you for getting Dad to say yes.
- Fran Fine: [holding up the ring finger on her left hand] Get your Dad to say 'yes'.