The Nanny (TV Series)

The Nanny-in-Law (1994)

Cloris Leachman: Clara Mueller

Quotes 

• C.C. Babcock : There's something positively delightful about this evening. I can't quite put my finger on it.

  Niles : Where's Miss Fine?

  C.C. Babcock : [Smirking]  Oh, that's it.

  Fran Fine : [Entering the room, wearing a traditional nanny suit]  I'm sorry I'm late, but it's hell finding white shoes in winter. The hat was easy, Howard Johnson's...

  [Everybody stares at her, mouth open] 

  Fran Fine : Children, it's not polite to stare.

  Maxwell Sheffield : Miss Fine, you... you look like a... a...

  Clara Mueller : [Stunned]  nanny!

  Maxwell Sheffield : [to Nanny Mueller]  Yes, that's it! I just didn't put it together.

  Fran Fine : I don't want to disturb you. I just thought I'd take my dinner and eat it in the kitchen,

  [stiffly] 

  Fran Fine : where I belong.

  Maxwell Sheffield : Miss Fine, please don't be so silly. Come and join us.

  Fran Fine : No, no. The kitchen is where a proper nanny eats.

  [to Maggie still staring at her] 

  Fran Fine : Maggie, shut your mouth. We are not a Pez dispenser.

  [Walks out of the room with a quick bow] 

  C.C. Babcock : [Exulting, with a haughty voice]  Nanny Mueller, it's amazing what you've done with Miss Fine!

  Clara Mueller : Oh, that's nothing. I had a Schnauzer once that gave me more trouble.

  Maxwell Sheffield : [Shocked]  Nanny, are you comparing Miss Fine to a dog?

  Clara Mueller : Not at all. Schnauzer had a pedigree.

  [C.C. bursts into laughter] 

• Maggie Sheffield : [Meeting her father's nanny]  I'm Maggie, Nanny Mueller.

  Clara Mueller : Well, button up, dear. If Victoria can keep her secrets, so can you.

• Clara Mueller : [Vigourously shaking Brighton's sloppy hand]  And, Brighton you call this a handshake? What are you, a man or a fish?

  Brighton Sheffield : Actually, I'm a Pisces.

  Clara Mueller : [Severely]  You, young man, I will be watching.

• Maxwell Sheffield : [Niles is leaning against the dresser, staring into space, after a night of passion with Nanny Mueller]  Niles, coffee.

  Niles : [Exhausted voice]  Oh, thank you, sir. I could use a cup.

  [Realizing] 

  Niles : Oh, sorry.

  Clara Mueller : Oh, good morning, everyone.

  Fran Fine : Morning.

  Clara Mueller : Niles...

  Niles : Nanny Mueller... How did you sleep?

  Clara Mueller : Like a little baby. And you?

  Niles : Quite well.

  Maxwell Sheffield : [Exasparated]  I think we all slept very well.

  Fran Fine : Actually, I didn't. I kept hearing things that go bump in the night.

  [Niles and Nanny Mueller stare nervously] 

  Clara Mueller : [Niles serves Nanny Mueller with coffee]  Thank you, Niles. I'm famished.

  Fran Fine : [With a mischievous smile]  The woman is insatiable.

  [Nanny Mueller glances at her] 

  Clara Mueller : [Patronizingly]  I see you're back at table, and out of uniform, Miss Fine. Maxwell, you might want a word with her.

  Fran Fine : [Imitating Nanny Mueller's German accent]  I think he wants a word with you.

  [Glaring at Nanny Mueller] 

  Fran Fine : Mister Sheffield...

  Clara Mueller : [Glaring at Fran]  Maxwell...

  Maxwell Sheffield : Yes, well... Nanny your visit has been wonderful, but like all good things...

  Clara Mueller : Oh, yes, Maxwell, I never been so happy since the day that you fell in the duck pond. I pull you out, I breathe life back into your little limp body. Oh... Now what you want to tell me?

  Maxwell Sheffield : Oh, uh, look at the time. I've got a tennis game. Excuse me.

  Fran Fine : Oh, Mister Sheffield...

  [Holding a pack of tennis balls, smirking] 

  Fran Fine : you forgot your balls..

• Maxwell Sheffield : Nanny Mueller!

  Clara Mueller : Oh, Maxwell, my liebchen. Look how handsome you've become. You're the image of your father at that age. He had a head of hair just like yours, and then one day, Kojak.

• Brighton Sheffield : [Imitating Nanny Mueller's german accent]  Little girls should not paint the face or the fingers. We do not want to look like showg...

  Fran Fine : [Clara Mueller enters the room without Brigthon mentioning]  Oh, hello, Nanny Mueller!

  Clara Mueller : [Sarcastically to blushing Brighton]  Well, our little regular Hogan Hero.