- DiNozzo: [Tony gets off elevator, spots McGee at computer] McGee, are you nuts?
- Timothy McGee: What?
- DiNozzo: You're at Gibbs's desk, touching his computer! That's like touching... the Ark of the Covenant!
- Timothy McGee: Gibbs knows I'm doing this.
- DiNozzo: He said you could use his computer?
- Timothy McGee: Uh huh.
- DiNozzo: Really! You know, when mine fried, he wouldn't let me touch his.
- Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [entering from offscreen] 'Cause your fingers were always greasy from fried chicken and pizza. How's it going?
- Timothy McGee: Bringing it online now, boss.
- DiNozzo: What?
- Timothy McGee: Yearbook photos from every British university taken between '87 and '97.
- DiNozzo: Who said our terrorist was British?
- Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Ducky. Thought his syntax suggested higher education in the British Isles.
- DiNozzo: Well, maybe he grew up watching tons of Cary Grant movies.
- [Gibbs slaps Tony's head]
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Abby, I'm surprised. I had you pegged for more the anarchist type.
- Abby Sciuto: Actually, I used to be an anarchist.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: What happened?
- Abby Sciuto: Too many rules.
- [after learning that the victim had a log go through a pre-existing hole in his gut]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I guess ring toss just isn't enough for some people.
- Abby Sciuto: It's not like they have any new ideas. It's just so...
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: The song remains the same?
- Abby Sciuto: Exactly. And bonus points for the gratuitous rock reference.
- [Tony is trying to persuade Gibbs to give him an undercover assignment]
- DiNozzo: Let's face it, I'm a more believable scumbag than you.
- Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: No argument here.
- Staff Sergeant Steven Washington: [Boxing coach to two Marine boxers in a clinch] All right, if you two are gonna dance, you join the Air Force!
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [in a three way stand off with DiNozzo and Stone] All right, drop it.
- A.T.F. Special Agent Malina Stone: You drop it.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You're out numbered.
- A.T.F. Special Agent Malina Stone: I could still kill him.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Go ahead.
- Abby Sciuto: Even though the drive was reformatted, all the information it contained is still here. It's just a matter of Humpty-Dumptying it.
- DiNozzo: I thought they couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again.
- Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: That's because the king only had horses and *men*.
- [Abby snickers]
- A.T.F. Special Agent Malina Stone: Are you always this subtle when you're leering at women?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Well, leering, by definition, is not supposed to be subtle.
- Abby Sciuto: You can't go straight for dessert, Gibbs. You have to eat your peas first.
- Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I hate peas.
- A.T.F. Special Agent Malina Stone: He never showed. I guess he got cold feet.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: That's not exactly how it went down. Thanks to a SMAW, he's got cold everything now.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Sure she has flaws, sure she's going to prison, but my instincts told me she had good qualities as well.
- Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Two of them wouldn't happen to live under her shirt, would they?