- Ethel Davis: [during the Sandwich Quiz] If you were in New York, what time would you have got up this morning?
- Supergran: [taps her knife on the table] Breakfast time.
- Ethel Davis: Absolutely correct!
- Harry Stern: [after finding Ethel's housecoat lying on the floor] Does this mean to say that miss Ethel Davis is running around this house with nothing on? Oof, oof, ugh, oh... it doesn't bear thinking about, does it?
- Harry Stern: I've just seen Ethel, going up the road on the back of somebody's motorbike, dressed as Julius Caesar.
- Neil Buchanan: What's a motorbike doing dressed as Julius Caesar?
- Harry Stern: Where's all the film snacks she's got prepared?
- Neil Buchanan: Oh... they were lovely, thanks.
- Harry Stern: You've eaten them all?
- Neil Buchanan: Well, not all of them.
- Harry Stern: Neil, there's one left!
- Girl #1: Ethel, what are you doing?
- Ethel Davis: I'm, eh, I'm standing behind a bush.
- Girl #2: Why are you standing behind a bush?
- Ethel Davis: 'Cause I'm dressed as Julius Caesar.
- Girl #1: Well, why are you dressed as Julius Caesar?
- Ethel Davis: Eh, 'cause we've made this film, we're gonna show it in the house, but I can't get in.
- Girl #2: Well, why can't you get in?
- Ethel Davis: Well, 'cause every time somebody comes out, they don't see me.
- Girl #1: Well, why don't they see you?
- Ethel Davis: Probably 'cause I'm standing behind a bush.
- Girl #2: Well, why are you standing behind a bush?
- Ethel Davis: 'Cause I'm dressed as Julius Caesar.
- Girl #1: Oh Ethel, you are stupid...
- Ethel Davis: I'm stupid? You're the ones talking to a bush.
- Dawn Lodge: Harry, projection screen.
- Harry Stern: Down in the cellar, love.
- Dawn Lodge: I've looked in the cellar, it's not there.
- Harry Stern: No, well, it's in a box marked "shuttlecocks", you see.
- Dawn Lodge: Oh, I was looking under "Christmas Decorations". I'll go and get it then, shall I?
- Harry Stern: Yeah, I would if I were you. I'm gonna go get washed.
- Dawn Lodge: Yeah, I would if I were you.
- Harry Stern: Well, talk about 'Oh what a beautiful morning, everything's going my way', well, I woke up, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, I got Donald Duck all ready and set to roll on the projector, and, with me favourite bowl of cereal and... frozen milk. Fine! Well, nothing around here changes, does it?