- Seth: No wait, listen to me. This wouldn't be just an ordinary bar mitzvah, you know what this would be? Wait for it... wait... A Chrismuckkah Bar mitzvahkkah. Spell that dude!
- Ryan: That's crazy.
- Seth: Yeah? So crazy that it just might work.
- Marissa: So we throw a big party...
- Summer: And Ryan gets the money from the bar mitzvah?
- Marissa: And then we can spend the money for Johnny's surgery.
- Ryan: How's this going to work? Am I just gonna stand in front of Newport and sing in Hebrew?
- Seth: You chant, and hell yes.
- Kirsten: I came to see how you were.
- Julie: I'm great. Some of the neighbours are having cockfights in an hour, using stray dogs. It's a holiday tradition. My money's on the feisty Weimaraner.
- Kirsten: Good, because I'm awful.
- Julie: I'm spitting Skoal into a can, drinking wine from a bottle I unscrewed, and living in a home that, if I wanted to, I could put in reverse. I'm beyond awful.