- Seth Cohen: If Taylor's going to fall for your plan, we need to speak in a language she'll understand.
- Summer Roberts: Are you trying to say that you believe me?
- Seth Cohen: No, not exactly, but there's just no other options. Do you have her cellphone number?
- Summer Roberts: What? We're not going to call her. She's not a moron, just evil.
- Seth Cohen: We're not going to call her, my little dim sum, we're going to text her. Or should I say, Dean Hess is.
- [hands her a sidekick]
- Summer Roberts: You got the bedazzled one? Pink, too? Wait, we can't text her an apology. We're texting her an apology?
- Seth Cohen: Nope, an invitation. I got a room at the Mermaid Motel.
- Summer Roberts: You mean the place where Ryan may or may not have conceived Theresa's baby and where Marissa's mom and Luke got it on?
- Seth Cohen: Newport's very own den of sin.
- Summer Roberts: Ew. But I like it.
- Seth Cohen: We can even, I mean, if we have some free time ...
- [Summer looks disgusted]
- Seth Cohen: Whatever.
- Summer Roberts: Will you quit peeping out the window, Cohen?
- Seth Cohen: [still looking through window] You don't peep out of windows. You peep into them.
- Summer Roberts: You'd know.
- Seth Cohen: [about Ryan, who is quitting school] He got a job on a fishing boat. He leaves tomorrow night.
- Summer Roberts: Wait, what? Are you serious? Your dad's, like, letting him go?
- Seth Cohen: He's pulling the old Sandy Cohen Jedi mind-meld on him. Trying to break his will by agreeing with him.
- Summer Roberts: Oh, like he did with you? Which you fell for because you were both spineless and weak.
- Seth Cohen: Yes, exactly. But this is Ryan we're talking about.
- Sandy Cohen: I for one, I love the tofu. To-funa. Tofurkey. To-bagel, with cream to-cheese. Too much?