Pat Harrington Jr.: Dwayne F. Schneider

Quotes 

• Dwayne F. Schneider : Any woman that would lower herself to be calling a man for a date is either a dumb-o, a fats-o, or a dog-o - woof, woof.

  Ann Romano : [with sarcasm]  Schneider, you are a man of great sensitivity.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : What can I tell ya. It's inbred.

• Dwayne F. Schneider : You wanna hear unfair? How do you think a guy feels when he asks a girl out, and she tells him to get lost.

  Julie Cooper : Oh, are you telling me that the great Schneider got kicked out on his...

  Dwayne F. Schneider : [interrupting]  Just once. Once. This gorgeous, young divorcée - whouh - beautiful eyes... I asked her out, y'know. She told me to go peddle my papers. So, I got back on my bike and delivered the rest of my papers. I saw her a few years later, but by then I was a box-boy, and the spark was gone.