Robert Guillaume: Det. Bob Ballard

Quotes 

• [Bob and Richard open the coffee from Santini's gallery which Officer Jimmy has just drunk from] 

  Det. Bob Ballard : It's the coffee you impounded.

  Det. Richard Capparelli : And there are the drugs right there.

  Det. Bob Ballard : Makes sense.

  [to beat cops] 

  Det. Bob Ballard : Book him.

  [to Capparelli] 

  Det. Bob Ballard : He must have packed the cocaine in coffee to throw of the dogs at customs!

  Det. Richard Capparelli : Now, Bob, those women may be a bit homely, but I think dogs is a little extreme!

  Det. Bob Ballard : What made you go after Santini?

  Det. Richard Capparelli : [holding up Santini's file]  Well, the next time you have a rift with your wife, I didn't want you to use this as an excuse not to work it out.

• Det. Richard Capparelli : Hey, roomie!

  Det. Bob Ballard : Capparelli, if you call me roomie one more time, I swear to God, I will bring paper products into this house that *you* will not be able to recycle!

• Officer Jimmy : Nobody drinks coffee anymore. Nobody smokes cigarettes. What happened to all the real men?

  Ballard : They all died!

• [Ballard has said he won't be able to invite Cappareli round to meet Mrs Ballard] 

  Det. Richard Capparelli : You need some time together to re-establish you're bond.

  Det. Bob Ballard : No - after everything I've told her about you, she's afraid of you!

• [Al enters the squard room with Officer Jimmy walking behind] 

  Det. Al Burkhardt : Try to keep up, will ya?

  Det. Bob Ballard : What's going on, Jimmy?

  Officer Jimmy : [Pointing to Al]  Captain assigned me special detail, to protect this man.

  Det. Al Burkhardt : Can you belive this. This guy hasn't been out of the supply room in thirty years!

  [Spotting Captain Epstein] 

  Det. Al Burkhardt : Sir, I respectfuly request a younger policeman.

  Capt. Ken Epstein : Det. Burkhardt, I will not allow age discrimination in this precinct. Jimmy has a lifetime of police experience - he's forgotten more than you'll ever know!

• Det. Bob Ballard : [Capparelli smashes 4 vases without finding any drugs]  When you're wrong, you're really wrong, aren't you!

• Det. Richard Capparelli : When I was married, my wife and I had a marriage councillor we could talk through our problems with, and it made for a stronger and happier marriage

  Det. Bob Ballard : But you guys got divorced!

  Det. Richard Capparelli : Yes, but then she married our thearpist!