Peep Show (TV Series)

Dance Class (2004)

David Mitchell: Mark Corrigan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Johnson : What this department needs is a kick up the arse so hard, my foot'll go right up your digestive tract and wiggle out your mouth like a little leather tongue.

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Yeah, fuck carrot and stick. He's making the stick out of carrot. Jesus, he's good. Careful, there's man love and there's business love and never the twain shall meet.

• Dancer : There was a lot of new energy in the room tonight, and some of it was just so Rainbow Rhythms, and some of it was just so not Rainbow Rhythms. Thanks.

  Mark Corrigan : Why don't you just say who you're talking about? You're talking about me, aren't you?

  Dancer : Well, yes, alright, I am.

  Mark Corrigan : Well, listen, I'm sorry if I didn't do it right and I'm sorry if you assume that I eat red meat and don't necessarily think money or Tony Blair are a bad thing, but if there isn't room here for people who stand against everything you believe in, then what sort of a hippy free-for-all is this?

• [At Gwyn's cabin, they're playing Spin the Bottle, it's Jeremy's turn and it's landed on Mark. But instead of opting to spin again they're both afraid of looking repressed in front of Nancy and Sophie, so now they're having kissing each other] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  I can't believe this is happening. He doesn't even floss. I tell him, but he won't. Jesus, when can we stop?

  Jeremy Usborne : [voiceover]  Don't stop first. If I don't mind looking gay, I'll seem the most hetero. At least it's Mark. Oh, Jesus, it's Mark!

  [they jerk away from each other. Mark is freaked out, Jeremy is too but he is desparately trying to hide it] 

  Sophie Chapman : Wow, Mark! Well done.

  [she gives him a kiss] 

  Gwyn : [picking up the bottle]  OK, so, Nancy's on.

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  This is probably how the Manson Family started.

• Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Yeah, you won't be so cocky, Jeff, when I come into the office with a Kalashnikov and 200 rounds of ammunition. I'm probably exactly the kind of person who could end up doing something like that.

• Mark Corrigan : Dancing? Yes, dancing, I love dancing.

  [voiceover] 

  Mark Corrigan : Because it makes me look like a coma victim being stood up and zapped with a cattle prod.

• Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Sure, an orgy sounds great, but you're basically just multiplying the number of people you're not going to be able to look in the eye afterwards.

• Jeremy Usborne : I'm pulling your pants down, Mark.

  Mark Corrigan : Fuck off! Fuck off! Fuck off, mate!

• Jeremy Usborne : Mark, I'm just in a very erotic relationship right now. I mean, we're systematically breaking down all the taboos that society has.

  Mark Corrigan : Right, and love? Romance? I mean, is there any romance in any of this at all?

  Jeremy Usborne : Who needs romance when you're doing it up the bum?

  Mark Corrigan : Exactly. Exactly my point. I mean, if you've actually done... that, which, by the way, I can see no point whatsoever in myself...

  Jeremy Usborne : You'd love to try it.

  Mark Corrigan : I honestly would not! What is this modern obsession with... that? Look, Jez, what I'm trying to say is, so, for better or for worse the 60s happened and now sex is fine. But can't we take the best of that, the nice music, the colours, the "I have a dream" etc., but not have to face the... squalor?

  [Mark picks up his electric toothbrush] 

  Jeremy Usborne : Er, you might want to give that a bit of a rinse, actually, mate.

• Dance Class Leader : Now, as we flow into yellow, remember, stop thinking. Let your body dance you.

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Next she'll be telling us to use the Force. If you ask me, Skywalker was bloody lucky to get away with turning off his guidance system.

• Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  God, it's so easy being a freak, no wonder they're ten a penny.

• Mark Corrigan : And we'd be exploring the miracles of flight and human endeavour, it's a spiritual thing, really.

  Jeremy Usborne : Mark, we are not going to RAF Duxford!

• Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  I'm Louis Theroux. I'm Louis Theroux and his wry smile at the orgy.

• [Sophie has caught Mark going into her email account] 

  Mark Corrigan : Sophie, please! Don't! We have something special!

  [pointing to his computer] 

  Mark Corrigan : Not my words, yours! We can't throw that all away just because I... spy on you. Can we?

• [Mark is attempting to hack into Sophie's email. He tries entering the name of her first pet] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Come on, Gerbil!

  ['WRONG PASSWORD' flashes up on screen] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Ah, cock-knobs! All right, what's her favourite TV show? Sex and the City. S-A-T-C.

  ['WRONG PASSWORD' again] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Bollocks. Maybe she thinks it's Sex IN the City.

  [it works] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Yes, I'm in! Bollocks to emoting, I've got my hands on her innards!

• [Mark enters the hippyish dance class] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  I've walked into my own personal nightmare. Must remain non-uptight for Sophie. Even if they make me play trust exercises with their genitals.

• [at the interpretive dance class] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Is this it? Is this what my Grandad died for? The freedom to do this? Jesus!

• Mark Corrigan : [knocking on Jeremy's bedroom door]  Look, we've discussed this. Early in the morning counts as late at night and we agreed no reggae music late at night, so...

  Jeremy Usborne : [opens the door in a silk dressing gown, his erect penis is sticking out underneath]  What?

  Mark Corrigan : Oh, for God's sake, Jeremy! I can't talk to you with... that.

  Jeremy Usborne : What? Oh, for God's sake, Mark, we've both got one, haven't we?

  Mark Corrigan : Look, Jez, can you please just keep it quiet because some of us have jobs to go to.

  Jeremy Usborne : Mark, your job is going to the office, my job is having sex. Yeah? That's what I do now. That's what I am. I'm a sexer. OK?

  Nancy : Sorry, Mark, did we wake you? We were both coming so hard we didn't notice the volume.

  Mark Corrigan : An explanation. Finally. Thank you, Nancy. Thanks for the explanation.

• [Mark has been hacking into Sophie's emails] 

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Probably shouldn't look again today. More than once every 4 hours would be obsessive.