Poirot (TV Series)
Murder in the Mews (1989)
Hugh Fraser: Captain Hastings
Photos
Quotes
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[first lines]
Hercule Poirot : Hastings, my friend, tell me: to blow up the English Parliament, was it a sin or a noble deed?
Captain Hastings : Oh, it's no good asking me, old son. I was never much of a one for politics. Where's Mrs Japp tonight, then?
Chief Inspector Japp : She can't abide fireworks.
Hercule Poirot : Ah, the noise disturbs the delicate sensibilities of many ladies.
Chief Inspector Japp : Maybe, maybe. I think it's more that she doesn't like to see people enjoying themselves.
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Miss Lemon : The trouble is, Mr Poirot, they just don't understand the letters.
Hercule Poirot : Why not?
Miss Lemon : They're Chinese, Mr. Poirot.
Hercule Poirot : The Bulldog Breed laundry is Chinese?
Miss Lemon : Yes, Mr Poirot.
Hercule Poirot : What is the world coming to Miss Lemon?
Miss Lemon : I'm sure I couldn't say, Sir, but when the boy brings your laundry back, he brings the letters back too for me to explain to him.
Hercule Poirot : And you do.
Miss Lemon : No?
Hercule Poirot : Why not?
Miss Lemon : I don't speak Chinese.
Hercule Poirot : So what do you say to him?
Miss Lemon : Well, I... I say "Him collar no vely good starchy." I show him the collars and say it.
Hercule Poirot : Hastings my friend, you spent some years in China, did you not?
Captain Hastings : Oh absolutely. Fine fellows, fine fellows.
Hercule Poirot : Did you ever have any trouble with your laundry.
Captain Hastings : Yes I did as a matter of fact.
Hercule Poirot : And what did you say to them?
Captain Hastings : Well, I said "Him collar no vely good starchy."
Miss Lemon : That's where I got it from, Sir. I asked the Captain, knowing he'd been in the East.
Hercule Poirot : But Hastings, my collars they do not get any better.
Captain Hastings : No. Mine didn't either, now I come to think about it.
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Captain Hastings : Why don't you get yourself some turned-down collars, Poirot? They're much more the thing, you know.
Hercule Poirot : The thing, Hastings? You think Poirot concerns himself with mere thingness?
Captain Hastings : Aah, no.
Hercule Poirot : Hmm.
Captain Hastings : No, I, I, I see that, Poirot.
Hercule Poirot : The turned-down collar is the first symptom of decay of the grey cells!
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[last lines]
Hercule Poirot : When she opened the cupboard, she tried to focus our attention on the wrong object, so she used the briefcase as a... what is it? A bloater? Kipper?
Captain Hastings : Red herring.
Hercule Poirot : Absolutely. And now, my friends, it is time for me to take you to lunch.
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Captain Hastings : What a good night for a murder, eh? I mean, if somebody wanted to kill anybody, nobody would know if it was a gunshot or a firework.
Hercule Poirot : But not so good, my friend, if your chosen method is strangulation.
Captain Hastings : No. That's true, no.
Chief Inspector Japp : Or poisoning, come to that.