Porridge (TV Series)

No Way Out (1975)

Graham Crowden: Prison Doctor

Quotes 

• [Convict Fletcher tries to con his way into the prison infirmary, but the doctor prides himself on being so good that he does does not have any patients in the infirmary, least of all frauds whom he can spot at a distance] 

  Prison Doctor : Well, Fletcher, let me tell you something. Of all the penal institutions in the north of England, my infirmary has the lowest record of admissions, and Donaldson, who's serving a five year stretch for grand larceny and embezzlement, had a better chance of getting a Barclaycard than you have of getting into my infirmary. Out!