Michael Riley: Brett Parker

Quotes 

• Brett Parker : How many times do I have to tell you people, you do not hire Canadians for these jobs. They don't have the first clue how to sell hockey. In fact, they don't know anything about hockey.

• Brett Parker : What the hell was that?

  Joe Harriman : It's the new opener for the network's playoff coverage.

  Brett Parker : Joe, we're supposed to sell fire on ice, you know, this was... this was kids with frozen snot!

• Joe Harriman : I had to book a flight to Hamilton.

  Brett Parker : Oh, were the flights to hell all full?

• Colleen Blessed : [to Brett]  Hello, Parker. Has Ray punched you yet?

  Brett Parker : No, not yet.

  Colleen Blessed : He's got more restraint than I do.

• Brett Parker : What if I got rid of Mark Simpson?

  Colleen Blessed : Get rid of the most loved guy in the history of the city? They'd skin you in the parking lot.

• Mark Simpson : [to Brett]  You can't trade me. I'm from Hamilton. I took a pay cut to come here.

  Brett Parker : What moron of an agent let you do that?

  Mark Simpson : My wife.

  Brett Parker : Oh.

• Duff McArdle : [to Brett about Ray]  He was like a brother to me, you know?

  Brett Parker : Yeah, well, he was kinda like a father to me, so...

  Duff McArdle : Is that why you killed him? Some Oedipus thing?

  Brett Parker : What is it with you people? I did not kill him!

• Michelle Parker : I had a chance to buy into a snowboard rental deal. I got 10% of business for $12 grand up front.

  Brett Parker : Wait a minute, where did you get $12 grand?

  Michelle Parker : The BioEthics Club. I'm treasurer.

  Brett Parker : My daughter into ethics. Wow.

  Michelle Parker : There is no club, Dad. I made it up to get the money.

• Michelle Parker : [to Brett]  It's too late for you to be a father.

  Brett Parker : You think you're the only one who didn't have a father! I didn't really have a father either, you know. I don't think I told you that, did I?

  Michelle Parker : You never told me anything.

  Brett Parker : All right. Well, my father was a hockey player. He was a career minor leaguer. He was always on the road and I hardly ever saw the guy.

  Michelle Parker : But you made up for it with me.

  Brett Parker : No, I was terrified of you. My dad, he got killed driving home from a game one night and I lost him for good. So when you were born, I was your age. I figured that you'd be better off if I stayed away.

  Michelle Parker : So you stayed away from me so that I wouldn't lose you?

  Brett Parker : Yeah.

  Michelle Parker : That's um... stupid, Dad. It's really, really stupid.

• Brett Parker : [about his father]  Look at this. He shouldn't have been on the road at 37 when he was never gonna make it anyway. Hockey made him a sucker. It's never gonna do that to me.

  Ray Malone : Is that why you live like this? Money, power, all that crap.

• Brett Parker : [to Colleen]  Look, we still have a deal, the Hamilton Steelheads are gonna be in Texas. They're gonna be there by June. Nothing to worry about. Look, if we win a round, it's gonna help the price.

  Colleen Blessed : But we don't want to help the price. We can't do anything to strengthen cash flow. The league wants to keep us here, remember?

  Brett Parker : I can handle the league.

  Colleen Blessed : Oh, my God.

  Brett Parker : What?

  Colleen Blessed : You're getting invested. You care about this team.

  Brett Parker : Please. Nothing's changed. I'm here because I want to move this team to a market that deserves it. And so what if we win a couple of games on the way out. I don't see what's bad about that.

  Colleen Blessed : You're back on the pond with the other little boys.

  Brett Parker : Oh, please!

• Brett Parker : Listen, Mark, I need to tell you something I would never tell anybody else.

  Mark Simpson : You're gay.

  Brett Parker : No. I was at my parents' house the other night and I had this vision. Not a vision, a dream or something. Of me as a kid again and I was watching hockey. And I didn't really understand what this was supposed to mean to me, but I think I do now. All right, hockey is not just about money.

  Mark Simpson : I know that. I told you that.

  Brett Parker : Yeah, all right, I know, but I'm starting to get it now. I'm starting to remember. Hockey is.. Mark, it's an expression of joy and community in the face of bleak winter!

  Mark Simpson : What the hell are you talking about?

• Michelle Parker : [to Brett]  I don't even know what to call you.

  Brett Parker : I don't know. What about "Dad"?

  Michelle Parker : I don't think so.

  Brett Parker : Why not?

  Michelle Parker : "Dad" is something you earn, like "Major" or "Doctor."

  Brett Parker : Listen, I am your father. I paid the bills for 17 years.

  Michelle Parker : I said earn it, not buy it.