- Prof. Daniel Pearson: Now you can see here that all other organs of the body revolve around the spleen. Just like the planets revolve around the Sun. And that's the secret. Your body has got to stay in balance with the Universe.
- Wishbone: It's real bad. Looks like a whole fistful of ribs are stoved in. It's too much for me. He's gotta get to a real doctor. And soon.
- Prof. Daniel Pearson: Say, friend, if it doesn't work out, I'd be glad to handle your undertaking for you.
- Rowdy Yates: Look, how long are you going to let them gossip in there?
- Gil Favor: She's got a patient.
- Rowdy Yates: The patient looked all right to me. She's still on her her feet. For all we know, Harv might be bleeding to death while they're in there, talking.
- Rowdy Yates: DIES? You ain't gonna practise butchery on no friend of mine. I'm gonna get him what he wants and that's a real doctor.
- Dr. Louise Amadon: Look, Sonny. I'm more real doctor that'll you probably ever see again. It took me three extra years to get into medical school because of idiots like you. And when I got there, I had to work ten times harder and be ten times better just to get my degree. Well, now I'm a doctor, a real doctor and I will not take any more abuse from knuckle-headed cattle bums like you. Is that perfectly clear?
- Rowdy Yates: Where's the Doctor?
- Gil Favor: Right here.
- Rowdy Yates: What do you mean, right here?
- Gil Favor: What I said, Dr Louise Amadon.
- Rowdy Yates: You're kidding.
- Wishbone: Not a crazy woman.
- Gil Favor: That's enough.
- Dr. Louise Amadon: It's all right. I'm quite accustomed to stupidity.
- Prof. Daniel Pearson: I wish you hadn't asked me that, Arnold. As a matter of fact, she does have a patient. A woman.
- Mayor Arnold Opel: Loretta?
- Prof. Daniel Pearson: That's right. All I can think of is what's wrong with the wife of my dearest friend. Why can't I be helping her? Why does she go to someone who can't possibly do anything but harm.
- Mayor Arnold Opel: But there's nothing wrong with Loretta. There must be some mistake.
- Prof. Daniel Pearson: There's no mistake. Loretta's been going there for some time. She's even been going there nights when you're working.
- Mayor Arnold Opel: How could she hide this from me? We've never had any secrets from each other.
- Prof. Daniel Pearson: Well, you certainly have them now. And you can lay the blame right smack at the door of that Madam Doctor Louise Amadon.
- Loretta Opel: Nobody you know.
- Mayor Arnold Opel: Loretta, Loretta, how could you?
- Loretta Opel: What makes you think a young girl could be in love with a man your age? Now I've said it. Now please let go of the reins and let me go.
- Mayor Arnold Opel: Don't leave me, Loretta. Please don't leave me. You're the only thing in my life that means anything to me. I love you so much I can forget about the other man. Please come home, Loretta.
- Gil Favor: You want these all at once or would you like some one first? Done dressing him, putting the sheet over him, fixing the cot, washing our hands, or feeding him whiskey?
- Dr. Louise Amadon: You'd better give him the whiskey first.
- Gil Favor: I ain't seen you crack a smile once, or have a good word for anybody.
- Dr. Louise Amadon: Well, I'm a doctor, not an entertainer.
- Gil Favor: My problem is to take care of my men. And if you get in the way of that, I'll fight you like the man you're trying to be.
- Dr. Louise Amadon: Those fools came in here in the middle of surgery and you're trying to tell me I shouldn't have treated them like fools.
- Gil Favor: They didn't know nothing about no operation. They came in here thinking Carter was dead. Once they found out they was wrong, they was willing to leave nice and quiet. You haven't got a button in your head for anybody but yourself, have you. There's a man's life at stake in there and you can't hold your temper for one minute. You know better than anybody else he can't be moved. Yet you're willing to take a chance on having us all thrown out of town. Just so you can prove a point.
- Prof. Daniel Pearson: She's evil. One of those free thinkers who can't stand to see another woman happily married. Well, Arnold, you know Loretta would never have done a thing like this on her own. Loretta was a good woman.
- Sheriff Barker: What is the matter with you? You can't threaten the law. Or any law-abiding citizen. NOW PUT THAT DOWN!
- [She cocks the rifle]
- Sheriff Barker: Right. Because you're a woman, just because you're a woman, I'm gonna overlook it. But this is the only warning you're gonna get. Now, the people around here don't like you and, if I hear one more complaint, just one, I'm gonna run you out of town. And that goes double for you saddlebums. You just step careful.
- Dr. Louise Amadon: Let me examine Mrs Opal.
- Rowdy Yates: Ah, you, can't, ah. You can't do that. She's been buried already.
- Dr. Louise Amadon: Dig up the body.
- Gil Favor: WHAT! Haven't we got enough trouble with the Law already without asking to be lynched.
- Wishbone: That isn't the half of it. You know what they do to people who they catch digging up graves? Have you ever seen that?
- Dr. Louise Amadon: I've learnt a great deal from men. Men who wouldn't let me live on campus. Men who put rats in my lunchbox. Men who made passes on condition that they'd give me passing grades. Men who come in here and wreck my place, and I can't even go to the Law. Because the Law is a man. Well, they taught me well. They taught me that, in a man's world, you connive and cheat and you look out for yourself. Because if you don't, nobody's going to do it for you.
- Gil Favor: One of us has to be a decoy.
- Jim Quince: Oh, no, you don't. Why should I go to jail?
- [Gil sorts out the matches, and with clever Favor manoeuvring, ensures that Jim draws the shortest one]
- Sheriff Barker: If there's anything in this world more sinful than disturbing the sleep of the dead, well, I just been lucky enough not to find out about it.
- Dr. Louise Amadon: Get out! And tell that phoney professor that the next time he sends somebody here I'm going to blow their head off.
- Gil Favor: Wait a minute. I don't even know what you're talkin' about. My name's Favor. I'm trail boss on a herd going North. Now if you'll just tell me where the doctor is.
- Dr. Louise Amadon: I'm the doctor.
- Gil Favor: You?
- Dr. Louise Amadon: Louise Amadon, MD.
- Gil Favor: Yeah. But you're a woman.
- Dr. Louise Amadon: Well, how clever of you to figure that out so fast, Mr Favor. Now do you want a doctor, or don't you?
- Gil Favor: Yeah, well, sure. We need a good one. I mean. This is an emergency.
- Rowdy Yates: We ain't gonna find nothing here. Let's go back and get the Professor.
- Dr. Louise Amadon: I'd let you two try that charlatan. He's a man which means he fits your specifications.
- Gil Favor: You a doctor?
- Prof. Daniel Pearson: You name it I can cure it, what's the trouble?
- Gil Favor: I've got a drover with a caved in chest. He's in a pretty bad way. You using leeches?
- Prof. Daniel Pearson: Most reliable medication known to mankind. It'll cure almost anything that ails you.
- Gil Favor: Look, is there a real doctor in this, um, I mean, a regular medical doctor. You know what I mean.
- Prof. Daniel Pearson: Sure, friend. You want a fancy doctor from the East with a lot of degrees?
- Gil Favor: Ah, yup.
- Prof. Daniel Pearson: Well, they'll steal your money but if that's what you want.
- Gil Favor: Yeah. Where is he?
- Prof. Daniel Pearson: A day away up in Ashville. Have a nice ride...
- Rowdy Yates: What's the matter with him? He seems to know his business.