- Principal Seymour Kaufman: Now look, you two, I've just had a taste of today's cafeteria special. That means I may only have minutes to live. Now, do you really think I want to spend my last few precious moments discussing Alice Johnson and her problems?
- Pete Dixon: Well, Alice, do you want to be Miss Popularity or do you want to be a schoolteacher?
- Liz McIntyre: Pete, wait.
- Pete Dixon: Well, that's the choice she's gonna have to make. Because if you want to be a schoolteacher, once in a while you're going to have to be unpopular. Sometimes kids have to do things they don't like. That's where a teacher comes in. So maybe you better decide if what you're doing is for them or for you.
- Alice Johnson: Richie's gonna do this impression of Mr. Kaufman.
- Pete Dixon: Mr. Kaufman?
- Alice Johnson: Yeah, and then the Magnitudes are gonna sing a song. And then they're gonna undress. Stark naked.
- Pete Dixon: Alice, you've gotta be kidding?