- [Harold Brittling, an artist, is looking at a painting on the Rumpoles' living room wall]
- Harold Brittling: What's this objet d'art?
- Hilda Rumpole: [proudly] Oh that's a watercolour of Lamorna Cove, done by my old school friend Dodo MacIntosh. She lives in the West Country and she has sent in to the Royal Academy on more than one occasion. Do you like it, Mr...
- Harold Brittling: Harold. The point is, Hilda, do *you* like it?
- Hilda Rumpole: Oh I think it's rather fine. Beautiful, in fact. The way that Dodo has caught the shadow on those rocks.
- Harold Brittling: If you think it's fine and beautiful, Hilda, then that's what it is to you.
- Harold Brittling: [turning to Horace] To her it's worth a fortune. The fact that, to me, it looks rather like a blob of budgerigar's vomit is neither here nor there. You pay for what *you* think is beautiful.
- Guthrie Featherstone, QC MP: You're working?
- Horace Rumpole: [looking up from his desk] No, I'm standing on my head and playing the bagpipes!
- Horace Rumpole: I know our learned head of chambers has given up politics.
- Henry: He's joined the SDP.
- Horace Rumpole: Exactly.
- [Harold Brittling has turned up announced at Horace's flat and wants a legal consultation]
- Horace Rumpole: If you've come to me for legal advice, I'm afraid you'll have to approach me in the proper manner.
- [Brittling holds out a bottle of champagne]
- Harold Brittling: But I *am* approaching you in the proper manner - bearing bubbly.
- [rather inebriated, Harold Brittling arrives at the Rumpoles' house for a consulation with Horace]
- Harold Brittling: [to Hilda] You look distinctly familiar to me. We've met before, Hilda, haven't we?
- Hilda Rumpole: I think it's hardly likely.
- Harold Brittling: [to Hilda] Did you used to hover about the Old Monmouth pub in Charlotte Street? And didn't I once escort you home after the Guinness stout had been flowing rather too freely?
- [Horace looks on, mystified and intrigued]
- Horace Rumpole: [to himself] Either this little gnome is off his chump, or there are hidden depths to She Who Must Be Obeyed.
- [Guthrie Featherstone has been made a judge and is trying the forgery case in which Rumpole is defending Harold Brittling]
- Guthrie Featherstone, QC MP: Mr Rumpole, I'm sure you don't *want* to be difficult.
- Horace Rumpole: [to himself] Oh, why should you think that, old darling? I consider it my duty to be a difficult as possible.