- [John Belushi is drinking at the water fountain]
- Mr. Hands: Say, look! There's John Belushi!
- [places Mr. Bill in front of Belushi]
- Mr. Bill: Yaaaay! Yaaay! John Belushi! Yaaaay!
- [to Belushi]
- Mr. Bill: Say, can you gimme your autograph, please?
- Mr. Hands: [hands some paper and a pen to Belushi] It would really mean a lot to 'im!
- Mr. Bill: [as Belushi turns Mr. Bill around and leans on him to write] Oh, boy! He's gonna do it! Yaaay! John Belushi, my favorite star, hey!
- [to Belushi]
- Mr. Bill: Say, can you write "To Mr. Bill, from John Belushi?" And can you spell my name right, huh?
- Mr. Hands: That's right. And make sure you dot your "I"!
- Mr. Bill: Yaaaay!
- [Belushi forcefully lodges the pen through the paper, stabbing Mr. Bill]
- Mr. Bill: OHHHH!
- Weekend Update Anchor: Hayakawa reportedly commented later: I need my sleep. Poor people don't need sleep because they're not working and they don't get tired.