- Slater: Hey, Preppie, how's it going?
- Lisa: Yeah, are you okay?
- Jessie: He'll be fine. Just leave him alone.
- Zack: What's the big deal? Am I supposed to be upset about something?
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: Well, yeah, I mean, after Kelly dumped you the other night, I'm surprised you even got outta bed!
- Lisa: Maybe you'll meet somebody at my sweet sixteen party. Now, remember you guys, it's this Saturday. Only five shopping days left.
- Zack: It sounds excellent.
- Lisa: Well, here's your invitation.
- [Hands one to Zack]
- Lisa: And yours.
- [Hands one to Jessie]
- Lisa: And yours.
- [Hands one to Slater, ignoring Screech]
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: Well don't I get one?
- Lisa: [pauses] Well, okay, but if you have a previous engagement, I understand. In fact, I'll pay for it!
- Lisa: Hey, Kelly!
- Kelly Kapowski: Hey!
- Lisa: Here's an invitation to my party.
- Kelly Kapowski: Thanks.
- Lisa: And here's a list of all my favorite stores in the mall.
- Miss Simpson: [Miss Simpson is extremely hard of hearing] Good morning, class.
- Jessie, Slater, Zack, Kelly Kapowski, Lisa, Samuel 'Screech' Powers, Rest of Class: Good morning, Miss Simpson.
- Miss Simpson: I said, "Good morning, class." Didn't your parents teach you any manners?
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: Uh, Miss Simpson, I have a doctor's appointment today. May I leave class early?
- Miss Simpson: Yes, your hair is curly. Now, let's get started. Today, we turn to the romantic poems of Elizabeth Barrett Browning. So, let's have Bayside's most loved couple recite a poem for us. Zack and Kelly, if you please.
- Jessie: No! No, n-I, well, I mean, let's me and Slater read it instead.
- Miss Simpson: Oh, Miss Spano, don't be such a ham.
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: [the guys are in the cinema, watching a movie; Screech notices Kelly and Jeff enter and sit in the back row] Pssst, Slater!
- Slater: What?
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: Slater!
- Slater: Hey, shut up, man, I'm trying to watch the movie.
- Zack: Yeah, shut up, Screech.
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: [Screech throws popcorn at Slater to get his attention] Eff-jay and Elly-kay.
- Slater: [Slater turns round and sees Kelly and Jeff, then turns to Screech] On't-day et-lay ack-Zay ee-say.
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: What-ay?
- Slater: Oy vey.
- Zack: What's goin' on?
- Slater: Uh, Screech is startin' to feel real sick.
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: I am?
- [Slater motions to him]
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: Oh, yeah, oh, oh, my pancreas! Oh!
- Rest of Audience: Ssssshhhhhh!
- Lisa: When I was four years old, my father promised me anything I wanted for my sweet sixteen birthday party.
- Jessie: So?
- Lisa: So, he let me down!
- Jessie: Well, what do you want?
- Lisa: MC Hammer.
- Jessie: Lisa, aren't you overdoing it a bit?
- Lisa: Girl, I turn sixteen once. It's going to be the social event of the season.
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: [Screech joins them] Ah, do you want me to jump out of the cake, babe?
- Lisa: No, I'd like you to jump into the cake while it's baking.
- Lisa: Why are you ruining Zack's life?
- Kelly Kapowski: Whoa, what are you talking about?
- Jessie: Zack was at the movies last night.
- Kelly Kapowski: People go to the movies all the time.
- Lisa: But not all of them make out in front of their ex-boyfriends.
- Kelly Kapowski: We were *not* making out. We were just cuddling.
- Jessie: You know, Kelly, I'd hoped you'd be a little more sensitive. You know, at least you've got somebody.
- Lisa: Yeah.
- Kelly Kapowski: What am I supposed to do? Call ahead before I go anyplace to see if Zack's there?
- Lisa, Jessie: Yes!
- Kelly Kapowski: You know, you're the one who told me to be honest about Jeff. And now you're telling me to hide it?
- Lisa, Jessie: *Yes*!
- Kelly Kapowski: If you two are sharing a brain, why don't you get one that works?
- Lisa: [Voiceover, as Zack sits in the cinema with Sue] I know this girl who would love to go out with you. Her name is Sue, and besides being pretty, she's got a great mind. And she loves to read, so she's got a lot to say.
- Sue: So, like, I figured Danielle Steel must be writing all of Jackie Collins' romance novels, because, like, they're all the same!
- [Chuckles]
- Sue: Well, not exactly the same, I mean, they have to be, like, a little bit different or everybody would know, okay?
- [Tires screech in movie, followed by gun shots and a woman's scream]
- Sue: You know, have you read Hollywood Wives?
- Jessie: [Voiceover, as Zack sits in the cinema with Cassie, who tips her tub of popcorn up to get to the last of the popcorn] You have got to go out with Cassie. She's got a great personality, and she has an insatiable hunger for life.
- Cassie: You know, after the movie, we should go to Antonio's 'cause I have this craving for a big bowl of spaghetti and meatballs.
- [Tires screech in movie, followed by gun shots and a woman's scream]
- Cassie: [Cassie gasps] I'm out of popcorn!
- [Zack gives her his popcorn]
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: [Voiceover] You never met my cousin Kimberly, did you? A lot of guys think she's cute if you like that long-legged, gorgeous, blonde ballerina-type.
- Kimberly: Oh, he's so mean! I hope they catch him.
- [Tires screech in movie, followed by gun shots and a woman's scream]
- Kimberly: Oh, no!
- [Clutches Zack]
- Zack: Kim, how would you feel about a burger after the movie? I know a great place where we can go.
- Kelly Kapowski: [Trying to smooth things over] Hi, guys. How ya doin'?
- Slater: Okay. I'll have a double cheeseburger.
- Jessie: Cheeseburger.
- Lisa: Cheeseburger.
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: Do you have any specials?
- [Lisa hits him]
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: Oh. Cheeseburger.
- Kelly Kapowski: How's Zack doing?
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: See? You guys are wrong! She does remember his name.
- Zack: [Taking Kimberly into The Max] Well, this is the place. Hey! Look who's here.
- [Goes over to the gang's table]
- Zack: Kimberly, I want you to meet some of my friends. This is Jessie, this is Slater, this is Lisa, and of course you know Screech.
- [Ignores Kelly]
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: Hey, cuz. Missed you at Aunt Gertrude's birthday party. We played "Pin the Tail on Uncle Fred" again.
- Kelly Kapowski: Hi, Zack.
- Zack: Oh, hi. Oh, I'm glad you're here. Can you get us a table? Something really romantic.
- Kelly Kapowski: Yeah, sure, right this way.
- Zack: See you guys later.
- Lisa: Wow, look at him! He's really happy.
- Slater: [to Screech, after looking at Kimberly] How could *you* be related to *her*?
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: Well, she's adopted.
- Slater: Oh, that makes sense.
- Zack: Would you like to dance?
- Kimberly: I'd love to.
- Zack: Alright.
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: [Zack chooses song on the jukebox and starts dancing with Kimberly] Whoa. That's A-12. Zack and Kelly's song.
- Lisa: Why would he do that? That's so cruel!
- Jessie: To get even with her.
- Lisa: What a creep. Kelly does not deserve that.
- Jessie: And she didn't deserve to be snubbed by us either.
- Slater: Right.
- Kelly Kapowski: [Kelly returns with the milkshake Zack ordered and hears the song; she puts the milkshake on the table] Excuse me, Zack, can we talk?
- Zack: [to Kimberly] This'll only take one second.
- [Kisses her]
- Zack: So. What's up, Kimber - oh, I'm sorry, Kelly.
- Kelly Kapowski: Zack, this is our song, A-12. It's sacred.
- Zack: No, no, no. A-12 *was* sacred. Right up until you dumped me for that jerk.
- Kelly Kapowski: Don't you dare call him a jerk. You don't even know Jeff, and right now, the only jerk I see is you.
- [Slaps him]
- Zack: My gosh, can you believe her? I told her I wanted a strawberry shake instead, and she gets all upset.
- Kimberly: I heard every word, you creep. How dare you use me to get back at your old girlfriend?
- Zack: No, no, wa - oh!
- [Kimberly throws the milkshake over him]