- Dr. Perry Cox: You know what else I hate about Kelso? His hair smells like a pet store.
- The Janitor: Actually, that's my fault. I filled his hair spray bottle with dog sweat.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Dogs don't sweat.
- The Janitor: They don't? Then what the hell am I putting in there?
- J.D.: All I need right now is a sip of your coffee to make me feel warm in my belly.
- [J.D. snatches Keith's coffee cup and spills it on himself]
- J.D.: Aww, Keith, look what you did!
- Keith: [J.D. removes his shirt] Dr. Dorian, take my shirt.
- J.D.: [Keith removes his shirt and offers it to J.D] You think you're better than me? With your rock-hard abs, and your dynamite areolas? Well you're not.