Scrubs (TV Series)
My Last Chance (2004)
Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian
Quotes
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J.D. : I think the easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly
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Elliot : Admit we're not even, or I'll make you pay.
J.D. : Heh, yeah, now that we're friends and there's no chance of us ever having sex again, there's really not a whole lot I
[air quotes]
J.D. : "need" from you, okay? So g'head and give it your best shot.
[hops on a passing gurney]
J.D. : Andele, Juan!
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Dr. Christopher Turk : Dude, now that I have adjusted your fuel valve, your scooter is going to fly!
J.D. : Speaking of things that are fly, I made out with Molly last night. I know that was kind of a lame segue, but I've been with you all morning and you've yet to use the words "make" or "out."
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J.D. : [Voice over, while making out with Molly] God bless Molly Ringwald. And this Molly. Ah, the hell with it! God bless Mollys everywhere!
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Dr. Molly Clock : Look, I'm sorry, but I'm attracted to damaged, dysfunctional people, and you're just too normal.
J.D. : [Voice over] Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.
[Aloud]
J.D. : My emotional journey began at five years old when I walked in on my parents having sex in a position my father would later playfully describe as "the jackhammer." I have a mentor that verbally abuses me every chance he gets, and no matter how much I try, I can't stop constantly narrating my own life.
[Voice over]
J.D. : At that very moment, I feared I had divulged too much.
[Aloud]
J.D. : Molly, I'm narcissistic, I'm pessimistic, I'm obsessive, I'm insecure. And I am so afraid of intimacy that every one of my relationships is a journey of self-sabotage that inevitably ends in a black vacuum of shattered expectations and despair.
Dr. Molly Clock : Wow.
[She kisses him passionately]
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Dr. Molly Clock : J.D., you just don't have that edgy mean streak that I'm attracted to.
J.D. : [J.D. shoves Turk off the wheelchair ramp as he's walking past] You were saying?
Dr. Christopher Turk : [Turk clamors back up] Dude, what the hell?
[J.D. leans down and whispers in his ear]
Dr. Christopher Turk : Oh, that's what's up. Go about your business.
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J.D. : [coming out of a fantasy] You ever get the feeling our patients pretend to be sicker when we're around?
Elliot : Oh, yeah. You know Mrs. Wilson back there? She made her spleen pretend to rupture, and then she pretended to die.
[a body is wheeled through]
Elliot : Got me again, there, Mrs. Wilson!
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Dr. Christopher Turk : [stranded by Carla] Where were you?
J.D. : I was treed by that coyote!
Dr. Christopher Turk : You got your phone?
J.D. : [feebly pauses] He took it.
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Elliot : [about Molly] I can't believe she's leaving!
Dr. Christopher Turk : Hospital just lost its second-hottest employee.
Carla : Don't think you can drool all over her just because you rank me number one.
Dr. Christopher Turk : Baby, Nurse Tisdale's number one.
[Carla gives him a dirty look]
Dr. Christopher Turk : You g--you gotta be single to be on the list.
Elliot : You actually rank the women of this hospital by their appearance?
J.D. : Calm down, Twelve.
Elliot : [to self] Yes, top twenty!
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J.D. : [after making out] Should we get out of here?
Dr. Molly Clock : D'you think you can handle it?
J.D. : No. But you won't know until after.