Scrubs (TV Series)

My New God (2006)

Christa Miller: Jordan Sullivan

Quotes 

• Dr. Cox : Remind me again, why are you having our son baptized?

  Jordan : Oh what do you care? You're not even going!

  Dr. Cox : Fine, let him go to church. I mean I let him go to magic shows. I'll just tell him it's all a lie when he gets home, so he doesn't have any of those crazy nightmares

  Jordan : By the way, I invited your sister

  Dr. Cox : Oh Jordan please tell me you didn't!

  Jordan : Oh I'm sorry sweetie. I don't think she'd be so upset. I'll call her and tell her not to come.

  [starts laughing] 

  Jordan : How weird would it be if I was like that?

• J.D. : He's just mad because I didn't help him move.

  Jordan : Well you should have done it! Helping someone move is like oral sex, you do it once and they owe you for life.

• Dr. Cox : Could I comment on the baptism dress?

  Paige : I think you should wait to see the matching slippers and tiny handbag

  Dr. Cox : You're actually encouraging him to cross-dress on the same day that you're introducing him to a religion that will condemn him to Hell for it. That's a trauma twofer.

  Jordan : Can you two please just try to get along? Now I'm getting some blush for Jack, because this lace collar is washing out his face. Terrible.

  Dr. Cox : Paige, will you just acknowledge that medicine made Mr. Donnelly better?

  Paige : Fine. It was medicine.

  Dr. Cox : Aha

  Paige : Thank God for creating medicine

  Dr. Cox : [Flipping out]  A-ghe-de-geh-geh-geh!

  [Stands] 

  Dr. Cox : That's it! That is it.

  [Grabs Jack, who begins giggling wildly] 

  Dr. Cox : Now you, you may be a total goner, but God's not getting his hands on this one. No way, no how. Come on, Jackie boy, we got places to go.

• Jordan : I don't think I can do this without Perry. I mean, he's my everything.