Scrubs (TV Series)
My Own Private Practice Guy (2003)
Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Perry Cox : Well, now, Maggie! I can only assume that you are whiling away the morning cat-chatting with your favorite gal-pal because you've already finished your pre-rounding?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I haven't even started yet.
Dr. Perry Cox : What?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Gotcha! Finished!
Dr. Perry Cox : That's a good one, Newbie. My heart is racing. You are quite the prankster.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I could tell you some stories.
Dr. Perry Cox : And if there's a God in heaven, you never will.
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Dr. Peter Fisher : You know what -- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you; I do want to hear the end of that story, though -- could you get a pulmonary consult for Sally for me?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Yeah, we--yeah.
Dr. Peter Fisher : You're probably thinking, Why didn't you do that before I got here? But you weren't sure if you'd be over-stepping your boundaries. What if I was some sort of territorial ass with a giant ego -- or a territorial ego with a giant ass.
[to the patient]
Dr. Peter Fisher : Stop me, Sally, please!
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Dr. Peter Fisher : [about Dr. Cox] You wouldn't believe this, but that guy was my mentor, man. I mean, I lived and breathed for that guy's approval.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : That's lame.
Dr. Peter Fisher : I know! Once you learn the tricks, though, he's easier to deal with; you'll see.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Tell me about it.
Dr. Peter Fisher : [laughing] Yeah!
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : No, no, I'm serious -- tell me about it.
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Dr. Perry Cox : Oh, my goodness, Newbie. Are you so uncomfortable with Jordan here that you've, in fact, stopped peeing mid-stream?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [uncomfortable] ... I may have.
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Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [J.D. and Dr. Cox are in the men's room]
[Voice over]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Okay, you've been avoiding Dr. Cox ever since Jordan told you her baby was actually his. But this chance meeting is a sign. It's time to let go of the secret. You just need to find a smooth way in.
[Out loud]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Hey, Dr. Cox. Takin' a wizz?
Dr. Perry Cox : We've been over this before, Newbie -- eyes front, no talking.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [Voice over] Okay, fine. I'll just read the wall.
[Out loud]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : J.D. has a tiny pickle?
Dr. Perry Cox : Kudos for honesty, there, Newbie -- but, again, no talking.
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Dr. Perry Cox : This is Mrs. Gracin's chart -- her private practice doctor just showed up, so I am off this one.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Well, is there anything I need to do for her lung nodule?
Dr. Perry Cox : [From down the hall] Oh, I don't know. What do you say you start her on 20 CCs of It's not my problem anymore!