- Dr. Cox: Oh, joy. I get to work on Mrs. Credin with the Wonder Twins. Dear Lord, what in thy most Holy Name have I done to offend thee so?
- Elliot: My brother Bradley and I used to always pretend that we were the Wonder Twins. He would always become "form of a dragon" and then I would want to be a dragon too, but he said I'd be something made of water, so I'd be like "shape of an ice dragon"! And then he would say that I was copying him and he'd breath on me and I'd have to melt, but it was still *so* awesome.
- Dr. Cox: That's funny, I don't recall asking for a really
- [x10]
- Dr. Cox: , ree-heeely boring story. My God, Barbie! Don't you understand no one cares?
- Turk: I care.
- Dr. Cox: Correction: no one important cares.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [narrating, walking on a hallway with Turk, approaching Elliot] OK, just give her a casual nod. You don't wan't turk to know what's going on.
- Turk: [they walk past Elliot uneventfully] Dude, you're totally hitting that!
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: How do you do that?
- Turk: It's a gift. Now you remember what happened last time you two got together, right?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Oh relax, man. We're just having some fun.
- Turk: What, you guys are sex buddies or something?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [J.D. imagines a fanfare] Fo'shizzle.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Wait, wait, you know what? Come on... Mr. Woodbury's doing well enough to be discharged. I don't mind standing up to Kelso on this one. Time to take the "G-R" off my gratitude and give that old bastard some attitude, J.D. style!
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: [He starts off down the hall. Carla points in the other direction] His office is that way.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I know, I have to go throw up first.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Look: Stay away from definite answers. Leave yourself some wiggle room. Say things like, "We'll do what we can," or "We'll get back to you on that," or..."Hell, I don't know."
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Couldn't think of a third one, sir?
- Dr. Bob Kelso: That WAS the third one.
- [under breath]
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Ass-face.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Elliot? What are you doing?
- Elliot: [teary] Sitting in the dark... crying. So, you know, the usual.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Oh. Okay.
- Elliot: [She rushes over to him and collapses in his arms] J.D., I had such a crappy day. I really need you right now. Come here.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [She starts kissing him and tugging at his clothes]
- [Voice over]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: She needs you? Oh, my God, Turk was right. You have to stop kissing her, and put an end to this before she gets hurt!
- Elliot: [She pulls back to look at him] Is there something wrong?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [Voice over] Eh, she's a tough kid -- you can tell her later.
- [Out loud]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Nope!
- [They resume kissing]
- Elliot: [JD and Elliot wake up in bed together] I'm so relaxed. It's like I totally forgot about being a doctor, you know?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: You're a doctor?
- Elliot: Problem is that we already know that we don't work as a couple.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Oh, we're a train wreck.
- Elliot: So we can't keep doing this.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hello, and whoa!
- Elliot: J.D., it's just sex.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Look, Elliot, we're adults. I don't think we have to apologize for enjoying what we're doing.
- [Voice over]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: And that's when she said the words every man is dying to hear.
- Elliot: I guess we could just be sex buddies.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [JD pauses, hearing a triumphant trumpet music playing]
- [Out loud, casually]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: If you want... .
- Turk: I don't wanna get all Dr. Phil on you, but the last time I checked, women have a hard time separating sex from emotions. So, you may think you're just tappin' that right now, but pretty soon she's gonna be like, "J.D., I need you."
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Look, if it ever got that emotional, I'd break it off.
- Turk: Okay.
- Turk: What's up? This is about Elliot? Don't you want to hear my side of the story with your little sex buddy?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [JD pauses for the trumpet fanfare] No.
- Turk: Come on, man, where's the love? Where's the--where's the loyalty? Where's the automatically siding with the person you care about the most?
- [J.D. looks at him]
- Turk: Oh, my God, that's what you're doing, isn't it. Isn't it?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [Turk shakes his head and goes back inside]
- [Voice over]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Some realizations stop you in your tracks.
- Elliot: Dr. Cox. I just wanted to let you know that Turk did the right thing by taking my patients off of my service.
- Dr. Cox: Noooo. What that yellow-bellied scalpel jock should have done was to go down to Surgery and schedule himself for an early morning add-a-pair-tomy. That way, if it took, he'd have the stones to at least come and talk to you next time he had a problem.
- Elliot: I just can't seem to stop letting my life out there affect my life in here, you know?
- Dr. Cox: Well, hell, Barbie... look at me. It's not like I've always been the centered, well-adjusted guy-smiley you see walking up and down the halls of this dump; I mean, stuff like that takes time. But, eventually, you learn to keep your personal problems separate from this place.
- Elliot: So, what do I do until then?
- Dr. Cox: You get your damn life in order.
- Elliot: [the morning after] The point is, we were stressed out and vulnerable, and we made a mistake.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Four times... . And a half, if you count that last thing.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [about what he and Elliot could do] . We could rent a movie. I have a fresh deck on UNO cards. You now what we *could* do? We could have sex like we did last night. I'm just throwing it out there.
- Elliot: Bite me!
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Oh come on! I'm sorry. I was just kidding! It was a joke.
- Elliot: [walks toward the bedroom] . I mean it. Like you did last night. Come bite me.