- Frank: [on Jerry's answering machine] Jerry, it's Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner's here. George is dead. Call me back.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Aren't you gonna tell your parents you're still alive?
- George Costanza: No, they could use the break.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Hey, what're ya up to?
- Cosmo Kramer: Nothin'!
- Jerry Seinfeld: Wanna go up to the Bronx and see if there's any flyers on George's car...
- Cosmo Kramer: [eagerly] Sure!
- Jerry Seinfeld: Guess I coulda said just about anything there, couldn't I?
- Cosmo Kramer: Yup.
- Jackie Chiles: So you're driving in the car, you're with your friend, minding your own business?
- Cosmo Kramer: Yeah.
- Jackie Chiles: Then what happened?
- Cosmo Kramer: Then we saw this woman, and she was wearing a bra with no top.
- Jackie Chiles: No top? She didn't have a top on?
- Cosmo Kramer: No. So I got distracted and I crashed the car.
- Jackie Chiles: Well how would you describe this woman? Would you say she was an attractive woman?
- Cosmo Kramer: Oh yeah!
- Jackie Chiles: So we got an attractive woman, wearing a bra, no top, walkin' around in broad daylight. She's flouting society's conventions!
- Cosmo Kramer: She was flouting.
- Jackie Chiles: That's totally inappropriate. It's lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous!
- Cosmo Kramer: It was outrageous. And she's the heir to the O'Henry candy bar fortune.
- [last lines]
- Jackie Chiles: You can't let the defendant have control of the key piece of evidence. Plus, she's trying it on over a leotard, of course a bra's not gonna fit over a leotard. A bra gotta fit right over a person's skin. Like a glove!
- Jerry Seinfeld: So you're just taking off from work?
- George Costanza: They won't know. I got the car there.
- Jerry Seinfeld: You think this is such a good idea with you being on the verge of this big promotion?
- George Costanza: My presence in that office can only hurt my chances.
- George Costanza: See, Steinbrenner is like the first guy in at the crack of dawn. He sees my car, he figures I'm the first guy in. Then, the last person to leave is Wilhelm. He sees my car, he figures I'm burning the midnight oil. Between the two of them, they think I'm working an 18-hour day.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Locking your keys in your car is the best career move you ever made.
- [first lines]
- Jerry Seinfeld: I don't know why people are surprised when someone gets hit in the head with a golf ball. Have you ever watched these tournaments on TV? You got 600 people crowding around a hole that big, and no one can believe it when a Titleist gets bounced off of someone's coconut. You know, you throw a rock into a crowd, that's considered terrorism. But if you have a nice follow-through... you know, that's golf. I'm always impressed, actually, with the golf cameraman whose job it is... to follow the golf ball when it's in the sky. You know, it's a little white ball. It's doing 100 miles an hour on a white background. "I got it. I lost it. I got it. I lost it." Why bother? Aim the camera at the sky, aim it at the ground, take a ball out of your pocket, throw it down. Who's gonna know where the hell it came from?