Photos
Quotes
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Jerry Seinfeld : And what is his stand on abortion?
Elaine Marie Benes : What?
Jerry Seinfeld : What is his stand... on abortion?
Elaine Marie Benes : Well, I'm sure he's pro-choice.
Jerry Seinfeld : How do you know?
Elaine Marie Benes : Because he... Well... He's just so good-looking.
Jerry Seinfeld : Well, you should probably ask. Because if he's gonna be coming over with those Pokeno's Pizzas... could be trouble.
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Jerry Seinfeld : Is it...? Could it...? Could he have...? It is! Poppie peed on my sofa!
Cosmo Kramer : Are you sure?
Jerry Seinfeld : Well, what is it, then? My new sofa! Poppie peed on my new sofa!
Cosmo Kramer : I'm sure it'll come out.
Jerry Seinfeld : I don't care if it comes out. I can't sit on that anymore.
Cosmo Kramer : You're making too much of it.
Jerry Seinfeld : Yeah, you're right. Just a natural human function. Happens to be on my sofa... instead of in the toilet, where it would normally be.
Cosmo Kramer : Right.
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Jerry : [after a visit from Poppie] K-Kramer, what is this?
Cosmo Kramer : What is what?
Jerry : This puddle on my sofa!
Cosmo Kramer : What puddle?
Jerry : That puddle!
Cosmo Kramer : I don't know.
Jerry : Is it?... Could it?... Could he have?... It is!... Poppie peed on my sofa!
Cosmo Kramer : Are you sure?
Jerry : Well, what is it then?... My new sofa! Poppie peed on my new sofa!
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Elaine Marie Benes : So what did you end up doing with the couch?
Jerry Seinfeld : I gave it to George.
Elaine Marie Benes : Did you tell him it was peed on?
Jerry Seinfeld : He said he was going to flip the cushion.
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[first lines]
Jerry Seinfeld : The love seat is an interesting little item there. I guess some guy thought, "If we can't get them to sit closer, why not just shorten the furniture?" My other favorite furniture brand is the La-Z-Boy. This is very flattering to the prospective customer, isn't it? Why don't we just call it "The half-conscious dead beat with no job, home all day, eating Cheetos and watching TV" recliner. And it goes back so far, that thing. I mean, go to bed already. It's over. You're wiped.