Sex and the City (TV Series)

Secret Sex (1998)

Kim Cattrall: Samantha Jones

Quotes 

• Samantha Jones : [someone has drawn a penis on Carrie's Bus Poster]  Oh, don't worry, honey! No one notices a bus in New York until it's about to hit them!

• Samantha Jones : A guy could just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth.

  Miranda Hobbes : When have you ever been on a tenth date?

• [Before Carrie goes on her first official date with Mr. Big, she's showing the girls what she's wearing] 

  Samantha Jones : Hey honey, it's fabulous. Bravo!

  Miranda Hobbes : It's tits on toast, baby. But you make it work.

  Charlotte York : Well, let's just say it. It's the "naked dress". I mean, you're obviously gonna have sex with him tonight.

  Carrie Bradshaw : Come on, it's our first date!

  Miranda Hobbes : She's not gonna have sex. She's just gonna look like sex.

  Carrie Bradshaw : That's right. I'm just the trailer.

  Samantha Jones : Please. If it happens, it happens. Bottoms up!

  Charlotte York : Wait a second! I thought you were serious about this guy, you can't sleep with him on the first date.

  Samantha Jones : Oh, God!

  Miranda Hobbes : Here she goes again with 'The Rules.'

  Samantha Jones : The women who wrote that book, they wrote it because they couldn't get laid. So they constructed this whole bullshit theory to make women who can get laid feel bad.

• Miranda Hobbes : Forget the math, just don't fuck on a first date, you're fine.

  Carrie Bradshaw : Third date.

  Charlotte York : Too soon!

  Samantha Jones : Reality check.

• Charlotte York : And by then at least you're emotionally involved.

  Samantha Jones : Exactly! I mean, isn't it better to find out if the sex is good right off the bat, before anybody's feelings get hurt?

• Miranda Hobbes : True romance cannot exist without good sex.

  Samantha Jones : And yet you can have good sex with someone you don't like or respect... or even remember.

• Samantha Jones : Have I ever had fabulous sex with someone that I didn't want to admit to? Hmm. Did I ever tell you about that jazz musician who lived with his mother in Queens?

  Carrie Bradshaw : Yeah, Alex.

  Samantha Jones : What about the window washer?

  Carrie Bradshaw : The one who doesn't wear any underwear?

  Samantha Jones : I met this gorgerous kid in Spy Bar last year. He was...

  Carrie Bradshaw : He turned out to be in high school.

  [narrating voice over] 

  Carrie Bradshaw : Evidently, Samantha had had lots of sex, none of which was secret.

  Samantha Jones : Fine, it just proves that I'm not ashamed of anyone whom I've slept with.

• Samantha Jones : There's no such thing as bad publicity.

  Carrie Bradshaw : Yeah, you would say that, you're a publicist.

• Charlotte York : So we would talk about art, and sex, and the Torah.

  Carrie Bradshaw : Well, why didn't you introduce him to anybody?

  Charlotte York : I was embarrassed! I mean, I couldn't really date him. And he couldn't date me. I mean, what would people think?

  Samantha Jones : Well, if the sex was good, who cares what anybody thinks?