The Simpsons (TV Series)
Homer vs. the 18th Amendment (1997)
Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Klown, Mayor Quimby, Clerk, Narrator, Irish Cop #1, Drunk #4
Quotes
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Homer Simpson : To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems.
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Quimby's Aide : Election in November. Election in November.
Mayor Quimby : AGAIN? This stupid country.
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Rex Banner : You're out there somewhere, beer baron! And I'll find you.
Homer : [way off in the distance] No, you won't.
Rex Banner : Yes, I will
Homer : Won't!
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Homer Simpson : [Homer has a giant beer barrel over his head] Look at me! I'm the Prime Minister of Ireland!
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Homer : Ooh, it's been St. Patrick's Day for hours, and I'm still not drunk yet.
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Homer : Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life and I plan to keep it.
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[Banner is interrogating a drunk Barney in the street]
Rex Banner : Listen, rummy, I'm gonna say it plain and simple. Where'd you pinch the hooch? Is some blind tiger jerking suds on the side?
Barney : Yes?
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Bart Simpson : Gee, Homer, you sure do suck tonight!
Homer Simpson : Yeah! Suck like a fox!
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Homer Simpson : Kaboom, blam! Oh excuse me again dear!
Marge Simpson : Homer. There's no point in pretending you're making those noises. Your home made liquor is exploding again.
Homer Simpson : What dear? KABLAMMO!
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[Marge is about to take some laundry to the basement when she notices a sign on the door reading "DO NOT ENTER", with translations in French, Spanish, German and Chinese beneath it]
Marge Simpson : That's funny. I used to be able to go down there.
[Homer and Bart come out carrying multiple bowling balls containing bootleg liquor]
Homer Simpson : [hurried] Going bowling. Not back, avenge deaths.
Marge Simpson : Why do you have so many bowling balls?
Homer Simpson : [sighs apologetically] Ah, I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge. So long!
[he and Bart drive away]
Marge Simpson : [annoyed] Hmmmm.
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Homer Simpson : 42 bathtubs, please.
Houseware Warehouse Employee : You know, they're 50 for $3,000 today.
Homer Simpson : I said 42!
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Marge Simpson : Beer!
Homer Simpson : I can explain, Marge. Please let me explain. Oh, why won't you let me explain?
Marge Simpson : You're the one the papers have been talking about. That mysterious Beer Baron who's been supplying Springfield with alcohol. How have you been getting away with this?
Homer Simpson : Well... And I can explain, remember? I fill the balls with beer that I found at the dump. And then I bowl them and some underground pipes take them into Moe's.
Marge Simpson : Homer, that's very clever.
Homer Simpson : Huh?
Lisa Simpson : Mom?
Marge Simpson : Well, it is. I've known your father since high school and this is the cleverest thing he's ever done. Besides, he's only breaking a silly, 200-year-old law.
Homer Simpson : It is silly, Marge. And look at all the money I'm making!
[Homer waves the money at Marge]
Marge Simpson : Whoo!
Lisa Simpson : Mom! Prohibition may be unpopular, but it's the law, and we still have...
Marge Simpson , Homer Simpson , Bart Simpson : GO TO YOUR ROOM, LISA!