- [the prisoners are having a good time singing and laughing in the bus]
- Female Prisoner: I hope this bus ride never ends! Because I'm getting executed when I get off.
- Kent Brockman: Captured 60s radical Mona J. Simpson goes on trial today on decades-old charges of sabotaging the Montgomery Burns germ warfare lab. For those of you too young to remember the 60's, here's our stock montage.
- [as promised, scenes of peace rally/Vietnam protest, Nixon, the moon landing, Woodstock etc]
- Kent Brockman: What a shrill, pointless decade.
- Homer Simpson: Sometimes, Marge, you just have to go with your gut.
- Marge: You *always* go with your gut. How about for once you listen to your brain?
- [last lines; message in the paper for Homer]
- Mother Simpson: Homer. Your mother loves you. I escaped from the bus the moment before it plunged off the cliff. I then hitched a ride from a nice young couple. We had lunch at a lovely diner. They had clam chowder, Rhode Island style. I never knew there was such a thing! And the crackers kept on coming...
- Gil: Now Lisa, would you agree that your grandmother is a sweet, harmless woman who could hardly be considered a menace to society?
- Lisa Simpson: If you ask me, she's less dangerous than Bart.
- Bart Simpson: If it please the court, I would like to go ape on my sister.
- [Homer crashes into the police station]
- Chief Wiggum: All you destroyed were bricks, mortar, and attorneys!
- Attorney: Remember me... as a drain on society!
- Homer Simpson: Mom, I swear on your eventual grave, I will never, ever let the police get their hands on you!
- Lisa Simpson: I say we hit them where they live. With a candlelight vigil.
- Homer Simpson: Candlepin bowling? That's a great idea. We'll play right after I break your grandmother out of prison.
- Moe Szyslak: Mrs. Simpson, when you took off, you left a hole in Homer's heart that he's been trying to fill with alcohol for 20 years. God bless ya!
- Homer Simpson: I couldn't sleep because I thought there might be a sign of my mom in one of these articles. They never did find her body.
- Bart Simpson: Then what was in the coffin?
- Homer Simpson: Last week's garbage. I missed the pickup date.
- Homer Simpson: [to a sleeping Bart] Psst... hey pal. Hey buddy, wake up. Wanna go on an adventure with your old man?
- Bart Simpson: No...
- Homer Simpson: You have no choice.
- [camera pulls back to reveal they're already driving in the car]
- Homer Simpson: There's coffee in the thermos.
- Chief Wiggum: Listen to me lady; the only way you're getting off this mountain is in a box, or a funicular.
- Lou: What about a hot air balloon?
- Chief Wiggum: Yeah, pipe down, Jules Verne.
- [Homer and Bart are changing messages on a highway warning sign. A message comes up: Stacey will you marry me?]
- Homer Simpson: Awww.
- [Next message: What do you mean 'no'?]
- Homer Simpson: Haha! Loser!
- [Third message: I hope your car blows up]
- Homer Simpson: Geez, pal.