The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Otto Show (1992)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Santa's Little Helper, Bill, T-Shirt Vendor #1, Man Hit By Frisbee

Quotes 

• Homer : Son, come here. Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your short-wave radio, your karate outfit, and your unicycle, and we'll go inside and watch TV.

  Bart : What's on?

  Homer : It doesn't matter.

• [Otto is playing the guitar in the garage. Homer comes in] 

  Homer : Will you knock it off! I can't hear myself think.

  [Otto stops playing] 

  Homer's Brain : I want some peanuts.

  Homer : That's better.

• Homer : That guy has gotta go.

  Marge : Hmm, I know how you feel. But he is good with the kids.

  [pan upward to Lisa's room, where Otto is telling her a bedtime story by candlelight] 

  Otto : So the lady drove faster, but the strange car kept banging into her from behind.

  [Lisa gasps] 

  Otto : So, finally, she swerved off the road into the woods and lost the other car and that's when she realized that the man in the other car wasn't trying to hurt her. No-- he was trying to warn her... about the ax-wielding maniac hiding in her back seat!

  Lisa Simpson : Did the maniac kill her?

  Otto : Natch. And you know how I know?

  Lisa Simpson : How?

  Otto : Because... I was that maniac.

  [Lisa's scream shakes the whole house] 

  Otto : [hastily]  Hey, I was just kidding.

• [Bart is trying to convince Marge and Homer to let Otto live in their garage] 

  Marge : I know we didn't ask for this, Homer, but doesn't the Bible say "whatsoever you do unto even the least of my brothers, that you do unto me?"

  Homer : Yes, but doesn't the Bible also say, "Thou shalt not take... moochers into thy... hut?"

• Homer : [to Otto, who's using the bathroom in Homer and Marge's bedroom]  Open up! Open up! I gotta go, and no fooling.

  Otto : [comes out the bathroom]  Hey, pop-n-Fresh.

  [pokes Homer in the stomach like he were the Pillsbury Doughboy] 

  Otto : You're supposed to giggle.

  [Homer growls angrily] 

• [after Otto told Lisa a horror story, which caused her to scream] 

  Homer : That's it. He's out of here.

  Marge : But we're the only family he's got.

  Homer : This is not Happy Days and he is not the Fonz.