Photos
Quotes
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Bilbo Bagshot : Will you come back?
Tim Bisley : Well, I like it here, Bilbo. What makes you think I want to come back?
Bilbo Bagshot : This.
[Bilbo gets out an answering machine and presses play]
Tim Bisley : [on machine; sobbing] Bilbo, this is Tim. Please can I come back? I don't like it here!
[Bilbo switches it off]
Tim Bisley : You got that, did you?
Bilbo Bagshot : Tim, I would have come in anyway. The place is just not the same without you there.
Tim Bisley : [smiles] I'm already there.
Bilbo Bagshot : [suddenly worried] What?
Tim Bisley : I mean I'll come back.
[pause]
Bilbo Bagshot : Oh! Yeah, you frightened me for a bit there.
Tim Bisley : I'll have to give my notice here, though.
Bilbo Bagshot : Can't you just get fired?
[Tim thinks for a second then nods, gives Bilbo the "hang on a second" gesture with his fingers and turns to Derek who is coming back in with two mugs of tea]
Tim Bisley : Derek... Babylon 5's a big pile of shit!
Derek : [annoyed] Get out!
Tim Bisley , Bilbo Bagshot : [throwing their hands in the air] Yaaaaay!
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Bilbo Bagshot : Look Tim, I'm sorry I sacked you, it was a mistake.
Tim Bisley : Oh what, things not working out with the new guy?
Bilbo Bagshot : You could say that.
[cut to Bilbo's shop]
Tim's Replacement : Hawk the Slayer's rubbish!
[Bilbo angrily throws his comic down and punches him out]
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Bilbo Bagshot : I was like you once. Blond hair. Scraggly little beard. Childlike ears. Full of beans and spunk. I let my principles get in the way sometimes. I punched a bloke in the face once for saying "Hawk the Slayer" was rubbish.
Tim Bisley : Good for you.
Bilbo Bagshot : Yeah, thanks. But that's not the point, Tim. The point is I was defending the fantasy genre with terminal intensity, when what I should have said is "Dad, you're right, but let's give Krull a try and we'll discuss it later."
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[In the comics shop, Tim is shouting at a little boy for wanting to buy Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace merchandise]
Tim Bisley : You are so blind! You so do not understand! You weren't there at the beginning! You don't know how good it was, how important! This is it for you! This jumped-up firework display of a toy advert! People like you make me sick! What's wrong with you? Now, I don't care if you've saved up all your 50p's, take your pocket money and get out!
[the little boy runs out, crying]
Tim Bisley : What a prick.
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Bilbo Bagshot : The Phantom Menace was 18 months ago, Tim!
Tim : I know, Bilbo, OK? It just... it still hurts! That kid wanted a Jar Jar doll!
Bilbo Bagshot : Kids like Jar Jar!
Tim : Why?
Bilbo Bagshot : What about the Ewoks? They were rubbish! You don't complain about them!
Tim : Yeah, but Jar Jar Binks makes the Ewoks look like... fucking Shaft!
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[as they all wake up, suddenly]
Daisy Steiner : I'm sorry!
Mike : I'm hit!
Brian : I'm blind!
Tim : Buffy!
