SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)

Grandma's Kisses/Squidville (2001)

Rodger Bumpass: Squidward Tentacles

Quotes 

• Squidward : SpongeBob, this is the final straw. I am going to move so far away, that I would be able to brag about it. I would...

  [a rock falls on his head] 

  Squidward : I would rather tear out my brain stem, carry it into the middle of the nearest four-way intersection and skip rope with it than go on living where I do now.

  Man on TV : Hi there! Is this the final straw? Do you want to move so far away that you can brag about it? Would you rather tear out your brain stem, walk out into the nearest three-way...

  Squidward : Four-way.

  Man on TV : Four-way intersection and skip rope with it than continue living where you do now?

• SpongeBob SquarePants : Wow, everyone's in a good mood today.

  Squidward : I love bursting your bubble, SpongeBob. They're laughing at you, not with you.

• Man with clarinet : What's going on over here?

  Squidette : It's that guy! He's playing with the reef blower!

  Man with clarinet : Playing... with the reef blower? That's the most childish thing I've ever heard of!

  Squidward : But it's fun!

  [the man guffaws] 

  Man with clarinet : How could you possibly have fun with those oversized hair dryers?

  Squidward : Like this!

  [He sucks away the man's clarinet] 

  Man with clarinet : Ahh! Give it back!

  [Squidward fires the clarinet right back in the man's face] 

• Squidward : [miserable]  Yep, this is great... Might as well rename this town Squidward's Paradise... Or perhaps too much paradise...

  [He rests his head on his hands] 

• Squidward : Grievances? This town is a grievance! There should be a law against so many stuck-up tightwads living in one place! This city needs to be destroyed! Or at least painted a different color.

• Squidward : Heaven at last...

  [while looking around in wonder, Squidward crashes into a man walking in the other direction] 

  Man in purple sweater : I've seem more alert people in a retirement home!

  Squidward : Oh, which way to the living room on a brain seminar? Don't be late!

  Man in purple sweater : I've heard better comebacks from a turkey sandwich.

  [He storms off] 

  Man in purple sweater : Get a life!

  [Squidward narrows his eyes at the man, then smiles ecstatically] 

  Squidward : This place is better than I expected!