SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)
Shanghaied/Gary Takes a Bath (2001)
Tom Kenny: SpongeBob, Patchy the Pirate, Narrator, Gary
Photos
Quotes
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[a giant anchor crashes into SpongeBob's pineapple]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Holy shrimp!
[runs to Squidward's house]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Squidward! The sky had a baby from my cereal box! Squiid-waard!
[Squidward pops his head out of one of his windows in annoyance]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Squidward! The sky had a baby!
Squidward Tentacles : That's not a baby! That's a giant anchor! Now, go away!
Patrick : [walks up to SpongeBob] Hey, SpongeBob! The sky had a baby!
SpongeBob SquarePants : I know. What do you think we should we name it?
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Squidward Tentacles : [about to climb the anchor rope] Well, I am gonna get to the bottom of this thing.
SpongeBob : Wouldn't that be the top?
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SpongeBob : [on the phone] Hello. Fancy french restaurant? I've got a naughty snail here who won't take a bath.
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SpongeBob : [disguising the bathtub as a treasure chest] Wow, Gary, look! A pirate treasure chest!
Gary : Meow.
SpongeBob : Why, no, Gary, this isn't the bathtub...
[kicks a paint bucket away]
SpongeBob : It's treasure!
[pulls out two bars of soap]
SpongeBob : Look, doubloons. Don't drop 'em.
[winks, then pulls out a rubber duck]
SpongeBob : Look at this brooch.
Gary : Meow.
SpongeBob : I don't know what a snail would want with a brooch! Now why don't you just get in the tub!
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SpongeBob : [Gary duped SpongeBob up in a tree and swiped his ladder] Gary! Bring that ladder back this instant!
[the ladder falls]
SpongeBob : I am really not amused, mister! You are going to take a bath, and you are going to get clean right now!
Gary : Meow.
SpongeBob : I am *so* the boss of you!
Gary : Meow.
SpongeBob : It may be a free country, but you live in my house under my rules!
Gary : Meow.
SpongeBob : Don't use that tone of voice with me. You will do what I say, when I say!
[Gary slithers closer to the mud puddle]
SpongeBob : What are you doing? I am talking to you, mister! Do not go near that mud puddle! Gary the snail, do you hear me? I am giving you three seconds to get away from that mud puddle! One...
[Gary inches closer]
SpongeBob : Two...
[Gary inches closer]
SpongeBob : Two and a half... Don't make me say three!
[Gary leans over the puddle]
SpongeBob : Gary! Gary! Gary!
[falls off the tree]
SpongeBob : GARY!
[splats in the mud]
SpongeBob : I'm a dirty boy.
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[the trio climb onboard a ghostly pirate ship]
Squidward Tentacles : Alright, who owns this crate?
[knocks on the cabin door]
Squidward Tentacles : Come on out! I wanna file a complaint!
SpongeBob SquarePants : [looks around] Doesn't this place seem familiar?
Patrick : I don't know. Why?
SpongeBob SquarePants : I don't know, doesn't it just kinda ring a bell?
[Squidward repeatedly rings the doorbell by the cabin door]
Patrick : Yes!
SpongeBob SquarePants : I know who owns this boat, but I just can't place the name.
[He passes by a barrel labelled "property of the Flying Dutchman". Squidward angrily pounds on the cabin door until the Flying Dutchman suddenly bursts out]
Flying Dutchman : [roaring] Aaargh-oowh-waagh!
SpongeBob SquarePants : No, no, it's not
[imitating him]
SpongeBob SquarePants : "Aaargh-oowh-waagh!"
Flying Dutchman : I am the Flying Dutchman!
SpongeBob SquarePants : That's it! Squidward, this ship belongs to the Red Baron!
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Flying Dutchman : Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman in his own lair?
SpongeBob SquarePants : [cheerfully] It's Squidward, he wants to complain to you.
[the Flying Dutchman looks at Squidward]
Squidward Tentacles : [nervously] I... no I don't
SpongeBob SquarePants : Well, what about all that stuff about him having a dirty ship and being lazy and all?
[Flying Dutchman glares angrily at Squidward]
Squidward Tentacles : [laughs nervously] I never said that
Flying Dutchman : Insulting a man's ship be worse than insulting his mother!
SpongeBob SquarePants : No, no wait, it was his mother you said was dirty, not his ship!
[the Flying Dutchman fries Squidward with fire from his nose]
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SpongeBob SquarePants : [screaming] Gary, there's a bomb strapped to my chest! It's gonna explode in three seconds unless you take a bath!
[pause]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Pleeease.
[explodes]
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Flying Dutchman : [trying to scare a kid fish] Booooo! Prepare to be burdened with the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates!
SpongeBob : [pans to a kelp shrub, then SpongeBob peaks out] Was that the signal? Sorry, sorry, just do it again.
Flying Dutchman : ...with the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates!
[SpongeBob and Patrick come out of the shrub making ghoulish noises and SpongeBob does a hand trick]
Patrick Star : [in a ghoulish voice] How does he do thaaaat?
[SpongeBob and Patrick continue ghoulish noises]
Flying Dutchman : Get back on the ship.
SpongeBob , Patrick Star : [in a ghoulish voice and backing away] It's still a mystery.
Kid Fish : Those guys are dorks.
Flying Dutchman : Yes, but they're my dorks.
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SpongeBob : Why do you think the Dutchman asked us to wait in our bunk room?
Patrick Star : Maybe he's gonna give us a reward.
SpongeBob : Like movie passes?
Patrick Star : Or an over-sized coffee mug!
[giggling excitedly while shaking the bunk bed]
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Flying Dutchman : We're heading down to Bikini Bottom tonight for a little haunting spree. So I want this ship to look good and scary.
SpongeBob : You mean you want it to look good... and scary. Well, I think we could probably...
Patrick Star : No, no. I think he means he wants it to look so good that it's scary.
SpongeBob : Or maybe that by looking so scary you forget that it doesn't look good.
Patrick Star : [after a pause] I don't get it.
SpongeBob : Look, it's easy, it simple means that...
Flying Dutchman : Never mind what it means! I just want it to look scary! That's it! You know, mold on the ceilings and bugs in the sink.
SpongeBob : So you don't want it to look good?
Flying Dutchman : GET MOVING!
SpongeBob , Patrick Star : [singing rapidly] A sailor's life is a wonderful life, a wonderful life for sure!
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SpongeBob : Psst, Gary.
[SpongeBob enters the living room and has absorbed all the bath water into his body]
SpongeBob : Bath delivery!
[he spits the water towards Gary and hits the armchair instead as Gary runs away]
SpongeBob : Come back, Gary. I have something to *chair* with you.
[he spits the water again but hits a stack of dirty dishes, inadvertently cleaning them]
SpongeBob : *Dish* is more like it.
[he continues spitting the water towards Gary but keeps missing as he keeps running away]
SpongeBob : *Water* you waiting for, Gary!