Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (TV Series)

Looking for Par'Mach in All the Wrong Places (1996)

Michael Dorn: Lt. Cmdr. Worf

Photos 

Quotes 

• Doctor Bashir : [running a medical scanner over Quark]  A compound fracture of the right radius, 2 fractured ribs, torn ligaments, strained tendons, numerous contusions, bruises, and scratches. What have you been doing?

  Quark : You mean,

  [trades a Look with Grilka] 

  Quark : what have *we* been doing?

  Doctor Bashir : [realization dawning]  Never mind. I don't need that particular image running around in my head. I'll just treat you.

  Doctor Bashir : [the door opens, and a battered Dax and Worf enter]  What happened to you two?

  Lt. Commander Worf : We, um...

  [looks to Dax] 

  Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax : Well, um... if you must know...

  Doctor Bashir : No! No, I don't need that image, either. In fact, I'm going to stop asking that question altogether! People can come in, I will treat them, and that's all!

• Quark : Her bodyguard was giving me threatening looks all night.

  Lt. Commander Worf : That is to be expected. The idea of a Ferengi courting a great lady is... offensive.

  Quark : You know, it's attitudes like that that keep you people from getting invited to all the really good parties.

• Lt. Commander Worf : I am a fool.

  Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax : You're in love. Which, I suppose, is the same thing.

• Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax : What is it you see in her anyway? I mean, she's attractive, but other than that?

  Lt. Commander Worf : It is everything about her. The way she carries herself, confident and strong. She commands those around her. The proud tilt of her head, the way her face betrays none of her true feelings, the power of her voice. And her eyes, they're as hard as separ gemstones, and twice as sharp.

  Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax : Sounds like you're describing a statue. What would you do with a woman like that? Put her up on a pedestal and clean her every week?

• Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax : If I were in your shoes, I would be looking for someone a little more entertaining, a little more fun and maybe even a little more attainable.

  Lt. Commander Worf : You are not in my shoes.

  Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax : Too bad. You'd be amazed at what I can do in a pair of size 18 boots.

• [Thopok has challenged Quark to a fight to the death] 

  Quark : So my choices are to not show up, be branded a coward and lose Grilka, or die?

  Lt. Commander Worf : Yes.

  Quark : Oh, come on now, there must be another way out of this! You people have rituals for everything except waste extraction. You must have a ceremony or a secret handshake or something I can do?

• Lt. Commander Worf : [about to throw Morn off a bar stool to impress Grilka]  I will apologise for this at another time.