Or, as the Lokirrim call them, "Photonic Insurgents".
Seven of Sixty-Nine and Harry Kim are suffering through an away mission with The Doctor - He has found a Comet which is carrying some "Pre-Animate Matter Caught in the Matrix" (Some of these words were uttered by Captain Chekov in "Star Wreck II: The Wrath of Khan" - Or the matter COULD have really been caught IN The Matrix, I think "The Matrix" had been shown in Theatres by that time). After I watched this incredibly funny episode, I felt like *I* was in the Matrix.
To get back off topic, The Doctor is going off on a new tangent about this Pre-Animate gunk when The Delta Flyer is Attacked in an unprovoked fashion, by Overly Paranoid Lokirrim Aliens hunting down "Photonic Insurgents". Enter Fritz Sperberg (Ranek) and yet another role for Megan Gallagher (Lt. Jaryn)- And The Doctor seems to have been decompiled by the Lokirrim's "Remote-Decompiler" - At least this is what Seven says has happened. "You Murdered him... you decompiled him", and they get tossed into the Lokirrim's Hoosegow.
But the reports of The Doctor's Decompilation are a little Premature, he stuck himself into Seven! So for the next 39 minutes, Jeri Ryan makes us BELIEVE that Robert Picardo is LIVING in her Borg Implanted SKIN.
Meanwhile, back on Voyeur, Tuvok is undergoing a Tarelian... Oh, Takalian! A Tarkalian Mumps attack that he had about "seven" years earlier. Tom Paris sets him on a diet of Hormones and promises discretion, but it is not like all of the rest of the crew including Janeway don't already know what's really happening.
"Seven" is called on by Captain Ranek to explain the Delta Flyer, Replicators and Cheesecake. So they gorge themselves and drink massive amounts of booze to top it off, while The Doctor-in-Seven blathers on about how much she "owes everything to the most important person in the universe" - The Doctor (of course).
She/He gets the Mobile Emitter back but has to agree to act as a Ships Doctor- But when The Doctor is finally put back into The Emitter, Seven is angry- she can hardly stand, due to the 8, Er, make that 9 glasses of Champagne The Doctor indulged in. If you think back a few episodes, remember what happened when she drank just ONE glass (It was in the episode where they tried to use the Quantum-Slipstream Drive from "Hope and Fear"... "Timeless").
After The Doctor agrees to behave, Seven plans to acquire Captain Ranek's command codes. Seems like Ranek is a little Intrigued by "Doctor" Seven as well, he tried to cram his tongue down Seven's Throat. To make matters worse, the Doc is also a little intrigued by Jaryn (Gallagher), who almost causes an unlikely "Hormonal Accident" while giving him a massage! So it is not just Ranek who has the hots for Seven, The Doctor is going after Megan Gallagher! Which causes several uncomfortable situations-in-one.
Back on Voyeur, Tom creates a Holodeck version of Tuvok's wife (Marva Hicks, who is the last I saw had a great voice in a Babylon 5 episode, while singing a gospel song) - And we get to see, almost, what really would have happened to Spock in "Amok Time" had his wife decided not to go all "Kalifi" on him- But as Tuvok gets into it, Voyeur is attacked by another Lokirrim ship, because they detected the Holodeck. Janeway has to agree not to use the Holodeck for a while, frustrating Tuvok. Grr!
When Seven confronts The Doctor about his arousal, he gives us GUILTY look number 47: The jutting-out of the lower jaw. What a spot! There simply is no way of coming out of this conundrum clean, Er, Ah, Ehem, Or, with clean pants at least.
The Award of the Decade goes to Jeri Ryan, she has every move, every vocal inflection, every bit of The Doctor's personality perfectly emulated. With a bit of Femininity added. But he/she is still his verbose, bragging and irritating self.
So She/He uses the ammo She/He's GOT against Ranek, and knocks him out, sends a message to Voyeur, and they are just as Confuddled by this Genderbent Doctor. But they get the gist, kick their escort ships Arse, and haul butt at high warp over to where Ranek's ship is. Ranek tries to retaliate, but the real Seven shuts down their Shields, and Ranek is hurt. It takes The Doctor saving his life to get the whole Lokirrim ship to drop their personal shields as well. Fortunately some good comes out of this.
This episode was some indication of the upcoming Photonic Rebellion that is explored in "Flesh and Blood" parts I and II- At this time, Janeway had no idea - That she caused this as well.
And as always this whole Episode is Tom Paris' fault - Or at least Robert Duncan McNeill's who directed it. Ironically, Paris whips up a Photonic solution for Tuvok' 7-Year Itch, and this plays out in parallel with the Photonic Phoreplay of The Doctor.
Does the bridge of the Lokirrim ship look familiar? That's because the doorways and viewscreens appear to be a redress of The standard Klingon bridge set. Funny, I have watched this episode several times and I just realized...
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