- Malcom Frink: I've created number crunches, I've created digital munches, but this is the first STUPID virus I've ever made!
- [first lines]
- Jennifer Doyle: Hi, Mrs. Starkey.
- Yolanda 'Yolli' Pratchett: Hello?
- Jennifer Doyle: Mrs. Starkey.
- Mrs. Cha-Cha Rimba Starkey: Oh, hi Jennifer. Hi Yolli.
- Yolanda 'Yolli' Pratchett: Hi.
- Jennifer Doyle: What are you reading?
- Mrs. Cha-Cha Rimba Starkey: Latest issue of my biker magazine. There's a great article in here about early Harley-Davidsons. Did you know their first model only had a two horsepower engine?
- Jennifer Doyle: Gee, no.
- Mrs. Cha-Cha Rimba Starkey: Yep. And they only made eleven of 'em.
- Yolanda 'Yolli' Pratchett: Mrs. Starkey, you're not really into motorcycles, are you?
- Mrs. Cha-Cha Rimba Starkey: Bike your tongue, child. I've had my behind parked on a cycle since I was your age.
- Yolanda 'Yolli' Pratchett: You mean that's your Harley in the faculty parking lot?
- Mrs. Cha-Cha Rimba Starkey: You bet your booties. 1990 Fat Boy with a 59 horsepower four-stroke V-twin engine. 628 lb. of rompin', stompin', road chewin' machinery.
- Jennifer Doyle: And you mean you actually ride that to the grocery store and everything?
- Mrs. Cha-Cha Rimba Starkey: I think you two cheerleaders need to get out more. Especially you, Yolli. Just 'cause your dad's the principle doesn't mean you have to listen to Barry Manilow.
- Yolanda 'Yolli' Pratchett: Who?
- Mrs. Cha-Cha Rimba Starkey: Never mind. What did you want?
- Jennifer Doyle: Oh, can I have one of those ink pens, please?
- Mrs. Cha-Cha Rimba Starkey: Yep. That'll be a dollar. Thanks. Have a day.
- Jennifer Doyle: Right.
- Malcom Frink: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say, Amp, and you've said some industrial strength stupid things.
- Amp Ere: I'm not stupid.
- Tanker: Yeah. He's just... just...
- Sam Collins: Mentally liberated.
- Syndey 'Syd' Forrester: I messed up? Me? What did I do?
- Sam Collins: Wow, I'm sorry, Syd. Maybe it's a mistake? I mean, you scored lower than...
- Malcom Frink: Than a dung beetle doing the limbo. Genus Geotrupidae, of course. But then, you wouldn't know that, would you?
- Stupid Virus: Me hurt...
- Servo: Hey, Syd. I thought you said this guy was tough.
- Stupid Virus: Me hurt *you*. Hurt, hurt, hurt!
- [last lines]
- Sam Collins: Can you believe we had to take the entire test over because the scores got erased?
- Syndey 'Syd' Forrester: Yeah. And who's fault was that?
- Sam Collins: Hey, that was a pretty tough virus. So, how'd you guys do this time? I scored pretty much the same.
- Tanker: Eh, me too.
- Syndey 'Syd' Forrester: I tied for the highest in the nation.
- Tanker: I knew you would. Let me give the top scorer a big hug.
- Amp Ere: Okay.
- Tanker: Amp.
- Amp Ere: I tied with Syd. Told ya I wasn't stupid.
- Syndey 'Syd' Forrester: No, Amp. You're not stupid.
- Amp Ere: I only missed one. What is the town located in the Carpathian Mountains that's known for its popular tourist attractions and breweries?
- Syndey 'Syd' Forrester: Zywiec.
- Amp Ere: See? See? If I would have eaten that last bowl of Zs, I would have had that one. I told you.
- Sam Collins: Do you think maybe Amp was riht?
- Tanker: I don't know, but we got an English quiz 5th period and I'm not taking any chances.
- [Tanker eats a page from his history books]
- Sam Collins: Okay.