Tales of the Unexpected (TV Series)

Fat Chance (1980)

Roald Dahl: Self - Introduced by

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Roald Dahl : In the bad old days, when India was full of millionaire maharajahs, these fellows used to bump off their wives with astonishing frequency. Oddly, they all used the same method, and very royal and maharajah-ish it was. Not for them a coarse bash on a head, or a bloody running through with a sword, or a slashing of the throat. They used tiger's whiskers. A maharajah intent upon disposing of his wife would first go out and shoot a tiger. He would then cut off its whiskers. These whiskers, which were as sharp and spiky as slivers of glass, would be chopped up into small pieces and sprinkled on the maharani's curry at dinner. When eaten, they would perforate the lining of her intestine and kill her off within two days. In other countries, tiger's whiskers are rather hard to come by. So we husbands have to use other, less refined methods, as you will see in a moment.