- Red Forman: What was President Dwight D. Eisenhower's greatest achievement?
- Fez: He led the Allies to victory in World War II and sent those jack-booted Nazi bastards home to cry in their sauerkraut.
- Red Forman: I didn't understand a word you said. But I heard "Nazi bastards", and that's good enough for me.
- Michael Kelso: Come on, Eric, we're a team.
- Jackie Burkhart: Yeah. Michael is the looks, Steven is the brain, and you? Your house has food.
- Michael Kelso: I can't believe I'm the stooge.
- Jackie Burkhart: Michael, it's just the way some people are, okay? Some people are lazy, some people are clumsy, some people are stooges.
- Steven Hyde: You're lucky enough to be all three.
- Fez: This could be my last day in the country. We should make love.
- Donna Pinciotti: What?
- Fez: Don't worry, it will be over before you know it.
- Michael Kelso: You guys are making a pretty good case that I'm the stooge.
- Steven Hyde: Well, if you're not, there's a guy who's about to step on a rake that I really wanna meet.
- Michael Kelso: Look, this whole thing started because I'm the stooge, and I can't be the stooge because I'm gonna be a dad soon, and no kid can look up to his dad if he's a stooge, unless the kid's a stooge, too, and then I wouldn't love him anyway...