- Michael Kelso: Yeah, when middle-aged women get mad, they get super pissed! They've got nothing to lose, they're almost dead!
- Kitty Forman: [coming downstairs wrapped in a blanket] Oh, I feel terrible! I think it could be the flu.
- Eric Forman: Now, would that be the real flu, or the Martini & Rossi asti spumante?
- Kitty Forman: Now I'm gonna miss Tom Jones this afternoon! I wanted his autograph so badly! Red...
- Red Forman: No!
- Kitty Forman: Oh, come on! If Joe DiMaggio were signing footballs, I'd get one for you!
- Eric Forman: Mom, Joe DiMaggio played baseball.
- [laughs]
- Eric Forman: That would be like me saying that G.I. Joe has a karate grip.
- [chuckles to himself]
- Eric Forman: Boy, what a nerd I'd be!