Bobcat Goldthwait: Mr. Floppy

Quotes 

• Mr. Floppy : [closing lines, reading fan mail]  "Dear Mr. Floppy, I love the show, but I've noticed that you haven't featured Jasper the dog in any of your new episodes. What happened? Signed, John S." Dear John, it's a well-kept secret, for like many other TV stars today, Jasper is in rehab with a substance abuse problem. But he's back now, and better than ever, and is off the evil malt liquor.

  [shame-faced little Jasper appears on the couch] 

  Mr. Floppy : Hey, buddy, how was Hawaii?

  [stressing the place name as a euphemism, and of course, little Jasper just stands there with hangdog expression]