Wagon Train (TV Series)

The Hector Heatherton Story (1964)

Tom Ewell: Hector Heatherton

Quotes 

• Hector Heatherton : Did he tell you of my invention of my razor contraption that's impossible for you to cut yourself? I call it the safety razor.

  Charlie Wooster : You mean you could shave yourself without cutting yourself?

  Hector Heatherton : Yeah.

  Charlie Wooster : I can't see it myself.

  Hector Heatherton : I got it all worked out in theory. All I need is a few dollars for tuning up. And believe me, there's a fortune in it.

  Barnaby West : Well, Charlie isn't interested in shaving, are you, Charlie?

  Charlie Wooster : But a lot of people are.

• Hector Heatherton : The moon is part of our solar system, and. one day, when man has learnt to fly, he will travel to it in less time it's taken us to cross our continent.

  Harriet Heatherton : Barney, I hope you don't take my husband too seriously. Sometimes he'll say the weirdest things just to amuse you, won't you, Hector?

  Hector Heatherton : Yes, my love.

• Hector Heatherton : I've been toying and weighing up with all the laws of physics. They aren't against a man flying.

  Charlie Wooster : Don't worry about the laws. We're way west of the Mississippi, you know.

• Charlie Wooster : I ain't seen a bird yet that had a rocket exploding under his tail. And that's what you're fixing for me to do if this model goes up.

  Hector Heatherton : The lift you'll get from these wings' surfaces will carry you aloft and allow you to glide down. Never fear!

• Barnaby West : You don't seem very excited considering.

  Hector Heatherton : My wife knows like a hound dog when I get excited.

  Barnaby West : She does?

  Hector Heatherton : We better get distance between her and me. She picks up vibrations. She has a sixth sense.

  Barnaby West : She couldn't know what I'm thinking, could she?

  Hector Heatherton : All women know what all men are thinking.

• Hector Heatherton : He'll be all right. I spiked the whiskey with a little formula I invented. I call it a Mickey Finn after the bartender whose idea it was.