Graham Crowden: Tom

Quotes 

• Diana : [about Geoffrey]  He thinks he's Fatboy Higgins, the last of the easy riders.

  Tom : No, no, that was just to amuse Marion.

  Diana : Ah ha ha. Not any more. He believes he's Fatboy in his own fat head. He's currently slobbing around our place looking like Marlon Brando on Valium.

• Tom : I mean, I've only asked two other women to marry me and they both said yes.

  Diana : But, Tom, you've only been married once.

  Tom : I was engaged to my nanny when I was four. She broke it off. Said that the fifty year age gap would always be a problem. So we went our separate ways. She must be a hundred and thirty years old by now.

• [first lines] 

  Diana : Insulin level nine. Hm, appears pretty good; all systems go. Or as near to go as I'm going to get this side of the grave.

  Tom : Morning, Diana.

  Diana : Unh, you're dressed.

  Tom : Yes, I usually get dressed when I'm going out. Except for that time when I forgot and went down to the library in my pyjamas.

  Diana : Well, they were my pyjamas, actually. My baby-doll pyjamas. Still, never mind; even the magistrate thought you looked cute.

• Sgt. Watt : What's his name?

  Tom : No, no, your name is Watt. My name's not Watt, eh what!

• [last lines] 

  Diana : What did you say, Tom?

  Tom : I said, will you marry me?

  Diana : No.

  Jamie Edwards : Ah well, so much for happy endings.