Graham Crowden: Tom

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Basil : [singing]  I joined the army yesterday, so the army of today's all right.

  Tom : Pom, pom, pom. What ho, Baz. Waiting for Miss Right?

  Basil : God forbid. Miss Wrong's much more fun.

  [Tom laughs] 

  Basil : Actually, I'm waiting for the postman.

  Tom : Oh, he comes in a van these days.

  Basil : Oh.

  Tom : Got sick of Diana ambushing him. Expecting something are you?

  Basil : The word from Cubby Cabbage.

  Tom : Who?

  Basil : Fellow that makes the Bond films

  Tom : Broccoli!

  Basil : Bless you!

• Tom : At last, at last. Fame and fortune.

  Basil : And fighting off the chicks!

  Tom : Limousines and fancy restaurants.

  Basil : And fighting off the chicks!

  Tom : Oscars, Baftas and poofters.

  Basil : And *not* fighting off the chicks!

• [last lines] 

  Tom : [laughing]  Well, that was fun.

  Diana : [laughing]  It certainly was.

  [Mr Kwok walks by carrying a dog across his shoulders] 

  Diana : Reality's leaking again.