- Clive Anderson: [before "Superheroes"] It's Mr. Muscle and Mr. Zimmerman, all rolled into one. And what is the problem he's solving?
- [a man in the audience says, "Painful nipple erections."]
- Greg Proops: That can't be right!
- Clive Anderson: Painful nipple erections may be YOUR problem, but it's scarcely... it's scarcely a worldwide problem, is it? I'll see you afterwards. I can see you from here. But... I was wondering what was nudging me in the back from time to time. A-any other- more of a worldwide problem?
- [a man shouts, "Perishing elastics!"]
- Clive Anderson: Perishing elastics. Very good.
- Greg Proops: What was it?
- Clive Anderson: Perishing elastic. Elastic is a substance we have over here, it stretches, and it perishes, and things fall down, and things go wrong. So you are...
- Greg Proops: When's it gonna stop, huh? The aggression?
- Clive Anderson: When you give us our colonies back. Now, the...
- [audience applauds]
- Clive Anderson: it's, uh... um... so you're Mr. Muscle/Mr. Zimmerman...
- Greg Proops: YOUR colonies.
- Clive Anderson: And it's, it's perishing...
- Greg Proops: CLIVE'S colonies. We call Zimmer frames "walkers", for our American friends.
- Clive Anderson: Oh, do you. All right. They're crisps over here, so we'll...
- [audience applauds]
- Clive Anderson: And you're just, and you're just one letter away from what we call you.
- Greg Proops: [in "Hoedown", about giving birth]
- [singing]
- Greg Proops: I am nine months pregnant, I tell you that it hurts, / Every year I pop out, a couple of little squirts. / But when I go into the room, to have those little drugs...
- [talking]
- Greg Proops: oh, fuck my ass. You know, failing is one of the major parts of television. If we may, I'll pick it up.
- Clive Anderson: Nah nah...
- Greg Proops: [singing] Oh, I'm a little baby, I live inside my mummy. / In a couple month's time, I'll come out of her tummy. / When I'm grown, I will run around on rugs, / But so she doesn't cry, I hope she takes a lot of drugs.
- [audience cheers]